It's Mommy Time

One Mommy, Two Daughters, Zero Time

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Lies and the Lying Parents Who Tell Them

"Santa doesn't bring presents to little girls who whine."

"Santa doesn't bring presents to naughty girls."

"Santa will bring your presents to Buffalo this year."

I catch Luke saying these thing to Hailey from time to time. It bothers me a little even though I know that these are things that have been said to our children for decades. I guess I'm just not bought in to the whole Santa thing so I'm blaming him for these statements, even though I may have uttered them myself.

Come to think of it, I just hope that someday Hailey is smart enough to turn to us and say "then, why did Santa bring me presents last year when I bit my sister?" or "how does Santa cover the whole globe in one night, and why don't we use his transportation technology to get from place to place instead of airplanes which appear to be much less efficient?" That would just be perfect.

4 Comments:

  • At 11:27 AM , Anonymous peter said...

    Oh my god, I have to tell you that, when you were Hailey's age, I had exactly the same feeling! I remember thinking how awful I would feel lying to you, and worrying about whether I could do it or not. I never wanted there to be lies between us. Then, someone made the point that it would add to your enjoyment of the season, and that the "lie" was really necessary to your happiness as a child! I don't think I ever bought in to that line of bull, but I found myself slowly warming up to the "stories" we found ourselves telling until it was as natural as breathing. (Of course, it helped that all the grandparents were already planting the seeds. And what was I gonna do, call THEM liars?) But, all the time, I worried about the day you would discover that your parents had lied to you. Then, what would I say to justify the dishonesty. I was a mess worrying about that. Do you remember feeling betrayed by the lie, or did it just roll off your back...as long as there were still presents to open? And now you are experiencing the same situation. I think everything worked out all right for us, don't you? Just enjoy that beautiful smile as she opens the presents from "Santa."

    Love,
    Dad/Grandpa Pete

     
  • At 6:30 PM , Anonymous Nancy said...

    This is so funny cuz, I too, had a difficult time with telling a lie to my children, that would eventually in their minds be very confusing why mommy and daddy lied to them! But, it all worked out just fine for my kids, b/c as it turned out, they weren't but two or three when they realized there was a Santa in the mall, and a Santa in the department store down town and a Santa on the street. And eventually, they looked at me and asked, "how can there be so many different Santa's?" Thus, came my opportunity to share what Christmas was really about. And that Santa came from the fact that there once was a very generous man who lived long ago and gave gifts to needy children (Saint Nicholas) and this is where the stories of Santa started. So, it all took care of itself.
    The bottom line is, if you, as her parent, are not comfortable telling her lies...DON'T!! Tell her the truth in a way that still allows the JOY of giving at Christmas to become her joy too! Kids will always love Christmas because it's a special time with their family...you and Luke are what make her Christmas magic. Not some fat man at the store!!
    :)
    ~Nancy (from Franklin)

     
  • At 10:46 PM , Anonymous Aunt Nancy in AZ said...

    Lying about Santa?... well then what about the tooth fairy?

    I still remember vividly when Stacey laid in bed in her cute little jammies and told me she knew that I was the tooth fairy and Santa Claus!!! She found out in school. I cried like a baby!!! (I know I'm pathetic) Stacey comforted me and told me it was OK that I lied because she knew it was a game all the parents played. Lied?? I wasn't crying because I lied to her... I cried because it was the end of her sweet 'little girl' stage... she now had now grown into a... a... 'young lady'!!! (...remember that Alisa?).

    But I do wish I could have done a few things differently about Christmas when my girls were young. I would have explained the true meaning of Christmas... emphasising Christ's birth. And that Jesus received 3 gifts... so they should have only gotten three gifts each under the tree. It would have saved me tons of money, lots of shopping and hours of wrapping! Besides, they got so many gifts from the rest of the family that I'm sure they wouldn't have complained. I'm older now and my faith is stronger so I see it differently but I wasn't at that place then. I just followed the 'traditions' I learned.

    Just make sure you say Merry Christmas!

    Hugs,
    Aunt Nancy in AZ

     
  • At 8:17 PM , Anonymous ann said...

    So if you're out on the roof outside her room at Grandpa Pete's Christmas Eve making "hoof" print in the snow Yes, I did that), and you're eating the cookies left for Santa (yes, that too), should we tell her that. Christmas is magic, pure and simple and I hope to God (yes, he's involved in this holiday as well) that your daughter grows up always believing in the magic of Christmas. I still do...

     

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home