It's Mommy Time

What Not to Wear

2009-04-28T19:08:00.000-07:00

This post should probably be called What You Can't Wear Anymore or maybe The 5 Things that You Can Wear or more appropriately Another Post Wear I Bitch About Something. Today, I'd like to bitch about my wardrobe or lack thereof. Since I had Sophia and swore off all maternity clothes, I have very little to wear. Every morning, I walk into a completely full closet and pull out one of about three outfits that fit me. "Oh you must be exaggerating," you say. Ha!!! Let me detail exactly what I have that "fits"

1 pair of jeans - they are actually too big, but I refuse to buy a smaller size because eventually, I'll fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, right? Of course, by then they'll be out of style, but it's the principle of the thing.

1 long black skirt/1 long denim skirt - these have been my summer staple so far whenever I need to look respectable.

2 polo shirts - I picked these up at Target a few weeks ago when I literally couldn't fit into anything but a t-shirt. Unfortunately, I later learned that busty women (i.e. breastfeeding Moms) should not wear polo shirts because they make you look like you have a uni-boob. Great. Thanks for the advice!

2 casual type cotton shirts - These I bought recently and apparently the v-neck and scoop necklines are better for busty ladies so I guess I lucked out on picking 2 things that actually fit and look respectably good (supposedly).

3 pairs of workout shorts - I'm not proud of these or the white, pasty legs that stick out of them, but it's getting hot here so the world will have to suffer with this fashion nightmare.

Endless supply of t-shirts - This is pretty much what I wear every day. I have three types of t-shirts. I'll describe them in descending order from the ones I have the least of which is nice, clean, unstained, well-fitting t-shirts to ones that are either too big, too small, or too stained. This second bunch might still be worn in public, but I would have to justify that by remembering that I have a newborn. Finally, the ones that I have the most of are the too big, too stained, and too deteriorated kind (some that literally have holes in them). These shirts are saved for days when I'm mostly in the house, but let's face it I'm not above wearing them somewhere like the grocery store if I didn't feel like changing.

2 sweatsuits - yup, the kind your grandma wears. I'm not proud.

Ok. That is the full extent of the clothes in my closet that I can wear right now. I'm only about 13lbs above where I was pre-pregnancy, but I think that even if I lose the weight, I'm still not going to fit into stuff. You see things just aren't where they used to be. I've tried to go to the store to buy more clothes, but everything either looks weird with my new shape or is too expensive for what I'm hoping is a temporary size issue. I've actually started walking and exercising this week not because I think that I look that bad but because I'm tired of wearing the exact same 4 shirts, 2 skirts, and 1 pair of jeans over and over again.

Plus, let's face it, Sophia is going to be 6 weeks old on Friday, which means that I'm getting dangerously close to not being able to use the newborn excuse for my disheveled appearance anymore. I suppose that sometime in the next 2 weeks or so I'll have to start wearing makeup and combing my hair again. If I don't, I hope that someone has Stacy and Clinton (hosts of What Not to Wear) on speed dial because at that point they might be my only hope.

Backward Logic

2009-04-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

One of Hailey's favorite new words is "because." The way that she employs "because" in sentences is quite unique. Set aside the fact that she could use 4-8 "because's" in a sentence, thereby creating the longest run on in the history of man, and you are left with the use of "because" to create some very backward logic. Let me give you some of my favorite examples...

Here's a simple one that she used tonight...

"Josie's not feeling good because we have to take her to the doggy doctor."

Then, they can get a little more complex...

"I'm hungry because I need to eat macaroni and cheese because it makes me get taller because it comes in a bowl because we eat it for breakfast."

Her turns of phrase are so entertaining (although less entertaining when she's on her 6th because, and you've forgotten what the point of the sentence was to begin with). Being the daughter of an English teacher and a logic master, I can't help but rearrange the sentences and repeat them back to her every once in a while. Still, it's just so cute that I hate to force real logic on her too soon. For now, we can't translate the sentences because we have to sit back and enjoy them because Hailey is her own unique personality because she says the craziest things sometimes. It's actually quite hard to write in reverse logic...you should try it!!!

Little Miss High Maintenance

2009-04-25T06:26:00.000-07:00

She reluctantly took the pacifier yesterday!!!

Sophia is just a wonderful, happy baby (for the most part), but I have to say that I forgot how high maintenance infants are. Or, maybe it's just that Sophia herself is a little high maintenance. She is certainly more demanding than her sister was both in the fact that she doesn't take a binky and that she hates to be wet or cold or not in someone's arms. She also isn't a big fan of the bottle, but she'll take it eventually when the milk starts to choke her. Although I have a list a mile long of things that I want to accomplish while on maternity leave, it's hard to do much other than hold her, feed her, watch her, etc. Still, I must remind myself that the reason I'm on maternity leave is to hold her, feed her, watch her, etc. That should be enough, and when it's not, she reminds me to focus on what's really important - her!

A Funny Conversation

2009-04-21T14:47:00.000-07:00

Hailey: "Mommy, I want to ask you a question about Cato (a boy from her class). Cato said that he would come to my house this weekend and dance with me. First I'll put on my dress and then my slippers then Cato will come and he'll dance with me." (I don't know where the question went because she didn't ask me if Cato could come over. She just told me that he was coming over.)

Mom: "Did you ask Cato to come to your house or did he just offer?"

Hailey: "I asked him and he said that he would, but I didn't ask Marley. Cato is a cute boy, and he's a good listener."

Oh my...I guess this is starting already. I'm not ready for this silliness.

Breastfeeding...The Ugly Truth

2009-04-15T11:40:00.001-07:00

If anyone ever tries to tell you that breastfeeding is the most wonderful experience in a woman's life, just look at them and say "Liar, liar boobs on fire." Because it is a lie, a lie that is perpetuated breastfeeding extremists and Mom's who are so far removed from the actual experience that they have the same rosy yet warped memory about breastfeeding as they probably have about childbirth. Let me be perfectly clear...breastfeeding is not fun!!!! Nope, it's hard work, especially at the beginning. Just to give you some context in case you've never breastfed before, you can simulate the breastfeeding experience by following these simple steps:

Go out to your garage, get the most coarse sandpaper you can find, take your shirt off and rub it on your nipples for 10-15 minutes. That's what breastfeeding feels like at the beginning.
Wear a bra 24 hours a day for 4-6 weeks. You have to protect those tender nipples and this is the only way. Now, don't you feel a little less than fresh?
Stuff two small watermelons (or heavy bocce balls) in your bra and try carrying them around all day long. Does your back ache yet?
Drop what you are doing every 2 hours so that you can sit perfectly still for 20-40 minutes. Don't move or you might as well throw a clothespin on your nipple because the baby has just bitten it off.
Throw away all of your cute tops that you used to wear because those won't fit you for a very very long time. Nope. It's time to invest in some XXL tops because that's all you can wear.
Every morning be sure that you put a nice swath of deodorant under each boob because now that they hang down to your knees, you really need to be sure that the area doesn't get as stinky as you might imagine knee length boobs getting underneath.
Finally, next time you are out in public or maybe at work, run into the restroom and splash some water on the front of your shirt to simulate the milk leakage that you get from time to time. As an extra bonus, you should get some sour milk and dump a little on your shoulder. That way you can smell spit up all day long.

If you think that I'm exaggerating, consider this...I was a C-cup before I had Hailey and Sophia. Right now, I'm an H-cup. FYI - They don't do the double D system anymore, they just keep counting up the letters. So, I'm five cup sizes bigger than I was before (and 2 underwear sizes, but let's not go there). Of course, in a few months this won't seem so bad. Sophia will be eating on some type of schedule, she'll be taking bottles some of the time, and I'll be used to my new XL wardrobe. Plus, I'll enjoy curling up each night to reconnect with her after a long day's absence. Still, right now those days seem like they are so far away, and I'm very tired. I think it's time to start her on a bottle before I lose my mind.

As bad as it sounds, I would never consider not breastfeeding. Shockingly, the advantages really do outweigh all of these disadvantages, I swear.

UPDATE

2009-04-14T18:30:00.000-07:00

Since I started this blog in 2006, quite a number of major changes have happened in our lives. We moved from Nashville to Atlanta. Hailey is now 2, turning 3 in July, and I had a second daughter, Sophia Catherine on March 20, 2009. So, we're back to the beginning in terms of child rearing. Life with 2 kids has been quite different so far.

When we found out that we were having another girl, I was incredibly scared. There is so much drama with one girl that I can't imagine dealing with two. Plus, can you imagine when they are teenagers????

I decided to start this blog again to provide insights and thoughts about being a feminist and raising two daughters.

Respect the Mommies

2009-04-09T19:14:00.000-07:00

Being at home with two girls for even a few days over the past few weeks gives me an all new respect for stay-at-home Moms. I've always thought that being a stay-at-home Mom would be more difficult for me than being a working Mom. I've said repeatedly that working makes me a better Mom, and I truly believe that. I guess I never realized just how much harder staying at home was. I'm honestly getting the hang of it now. I've been able to take the girls on multiple outings all by myself. I've also learned to multitask with them so that I can feed Sophia and entertain Hailey at the same time. I've got a decent rhythm going. Still, it's exhausting. If stay-at-home Moms were fairies, they would be patience talent fairies (a rare talent, indeed). Yes, I've been watching a lot of the Tinkerbell movie, and you would get the reference if you live with a 2-year-old. Anyway, I wonder what my fairy talent would be? Disillusioned fairy? Impatience fairy? No...has to be Moo Cow Fairy.

Worst Mother EVER!

2009-04-07T09:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I hear Hailey's call for "Mommy" in the middle of the night, I wonder to myself "who is this mythical Mommy character that she wants?" Surely, she is not referring to me. She could not possibly expect me to get out of my warm bed to attend to her lost glow worm, dropped blanket, unquenchable thirst, etc. I heard the call again this morning around 5:00am. Keep in mind that I've had a chest cold for a few days now so I'm not sleeping or feeling well. Regardless, I went in to find Hailey searching for her glow worm, which I quickly found and returned.

My general rule is that I will go into her room one time to be sure that there isn't an emergency, but after that she's on her own. For some reason, I broke the rule this time. We proceeded to play the call Mommy game for about an hour. She was complaining that her stomach hurt, which if fairly typical when she's hungry or has to poop. After eliminating those two causes, I finally made Daddy go in. At that point, Daddy brought Hailey into our room to "sleep." What ensued were 2 hours of screaming almost hysterically about her stomach, ears, and neck hurting. While I considered the possibility that she was really sick, I thought that the more likely scenario was that she could not sleep and wanted some attention. She got attention, Tylenol, milk, a bagel, and three episodes of her favorite show.

By the time real morning came (8:00am), she seemed fine again. She didn't feel particularly warm as if she had a fever. She was smiley and talkative. I thought the earlier 2 hours were a fluke so I let her go to school. About 3 hours later, I got a call from school. Hailey has a fever and needs to go home. Argh! So now Hailey and I are home sick, AND I feel like a horrible mother for ignoring my child's symptoms. I AM that mother who people curse for sending their child to school sick. What a horrible, crappy, cold, yucky day. Thank goodness Sophia is fine, so far.

I Survived

2009-04-02T17:39:00.000-07:00

Hailey came home from school with pink eye on Tuesday. Of course, she couldn't go to school on Wednesday or Thursday, which meant that I had both girls at home with me for two days. I have to say that it was a fairly eventful two days even though we didn't actually do much. Here's everything that we survived together...

2 Severe thunderstorms
1 Trip to the doctor
1 Sophia poop explosion in the middle of CVS
1 Sophia melt down in the middle of CVS
3 sets of eye drops every day
1 Bout of pink eye for Hailey
1 Bout of pink eye for Mama
1 Josie bite to Hailey's forehead (not severe)
2 Baths - one for Hailey/one for Sophia
1 Timeout

It doesn't sound like much, but this stay at home Mommy stuff is really hard. By the end of today, I was pretty desperate for Luke to come home. I think that it would have been better if the weather had been nicer today so that I could have taken the girls out somewhere. However, the rain was pretty bad, and I don't quite have the 2-kid-confidence yet to venture out under those conditions. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it eventually.

10 Things You Forget

2009-03-30T07:32:00.000-07:00

Napping in bed...shhh...don't tell anyone that I let her sleep on her side!

Here's my hand for some size perspective.

Satisfied customer after the Mommy buffet

With the second one, you think that you should know what you're doing. Here are 10 things that we definitely forgot about between #1 and #2... 10. How quickly you become exhausted 9. The consistency of baby poop 8. The unpredictability of baby poop 7. How often they have to eat 6. How precious they are when they're asleep 5. How demanding they are when they're awake 4. How much laundry is required to keep them in clean, dry clothes 3. How quickly you become exhausted (wait, did I say that already? Too tired to read back to see) 2. How difficult breastfeeding really is 1. How sweet and cuddly they are

It Doesn't Come Back to You

2009-03-25T13:57:00.000-07:00

Note: If you have a weak stomach or are easily grossed out, stop reading now.

Luke, Sophia and I curled up on the couch this afternoon to watch movies. Luke was holding her when we heard massive rumblings in her nether regions. I explained to him that whoever was holding her when she did it had to be in charge of changing the diaper. When we thought she was done, he put her on the floor to change her. Apparently, we forgot the consistency of infant poop, which resembles chocolate pudding before it's congealed. Needless to say, we ended up with poop flowing out the back of the diaper, up her back, onto her clothes, onto the carpet, and everywhere else. In the midst of my laughter, Luke was running to the kitchen to get towels because we were totally unprepared for any of this and everything is now covered in uncongealed pudding. It was bad news, but everyone and everything has been cleaned up. So much for this parenting thing coming back to us!

Why Natural???

2009-03-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

When I tell people that we do natural childbirth with no epidural or drugs of any kind, I get some strange looks and lots of questions. To be honest, I never really have been able to articulate why in any concise or convincing way, but having just been through the experience one more time, I figured that I'd give it one more try.

The main and most important reason that we do natural (and I do mean "we" because it's a 3 person job) is that it's actually safer for Mommy and baby. There are countless studies out there that suggest that medical interventions, including epidurals, tend to lead to more complications, higher c-section rates, and longer recovery times. I'm pretty big on letting science and research guide my big decisions, and the science is pretty convincing on this one.

But science alone is not enough. I guess that the main reason why we do natural childbirth is because we can. Many women fear the pain of natural childbirth and are happy to relinquish control of what will be one of the most defining moments of their lives so that they can eliminate the pain. I don't want to make a decision out of fear, especially since there's no medical reason why I need to (and I realize that's not the case for everyone).

In order to really commit to natural childbirth, you have to believe a few important truths about yourself and the process:

1) Women have been giving birth naturally for millions of years. If they can do it, you can too.

2) There will be pain, but that pain is logical, manageable, and purposeful.

3) You must take control of the decisions about your labor and simultaneously relinquish some control to your support partners.

4) You can do it.

Having just had Sophia naturally, the one truth that was so abundantly clear to me this time was #2. I was very nervous about trying to do Sophia naturally because I honestly knew what was coming and had to more consciously choose the path of more pain. However, the whole process of birth is so logical. The contractions are painful, but they are rhythmic and predictable. I knew that each one was moving me closer to Sophia. Especially at the end when we were waiting for just that last centimeter so that we could push; every contraction was an exercise is letting go, relaxing, and inviting her to come into the world. Those are the most difficult and painful contractions, but you're so close at that point that it's easy to focus on the goal. Even the pushing is rhythmic, and if you listen, your body tells you when to push and when to rest. That makes it a lot easier to be efficient and keep yourself whole.

I guess all in all I have even greater respect and appreciation for the process after Sophia. I also have great appreciation for my Mom and Luke who traveled down the road with me. It's just a beautiful thing, and I'm so glad that we did it again.

The Details

2009-03-22T18:22:00.000-07:00

I think that I mentioned previously that I decided to start my maternity leave on Friday even though I hadn't had Sophia yet. I was very excited to just relax and run errands on Friday, and Mom and I headed out pretty early to run around. We stopped at a few stores and then went to Home Depot to pick up some flowers to plant later in the day. While at Home Depot, I started having mild contractions. I thought it was more fake contractions so I didn't worry, but headed home just in case. By noon, our contractions were about 9 minutes apart and still fairly mild. We progressed pretty well at home until we were about 4-5 minutes apart, which was of course, around 5pm. I couldn't believe that we went into labor during the day, that we had to drive to the hospital during rush hour on a Friday, or that this was finally happening after all of the waiting!

We got to the hospital and into a room by 6:30. I was 6-7 cm dilated when we got there, which was exactly the same as I was when I got to the hospital with Hailey. We progressed pretty quickly although it felt like an eternity. The doctors and nurses were very patient and supportive. Everyone kept telling us how great we were doing, which was extremely comforting. By the time I was 9cm, I was ready to push and getting a bit impatient. I let the doctor break my water and within minutes, I was pushing. 12 minutes of pushing later, Sophia was born.

She had a big head full of brown hair and a lot of fluid (because she came out so quick). I got to hold her right away until the respiratory therapist came and cleared out her lungs for a while. She wanted to eat almost immediately. She nursed twice in the first few hours. She was starving!! The good news is that she's a good eater and a good sleeper (so far at least). I've already started giving her a pacifier because I just can't keep up with her. However, she's been known to sleep for 3-4 hours at a time.

Unfortunately, the next morning Luke woke up with a horrible case of food poisoning. It was very sad for him to miss any of Sophia's first day, but he was violently ill and mostly just rested. Hailey and the grandparents came in the morning to spend some time with Sophia and take Luke home. Hailey just giggled and giggled when she met Sophia for the first time. Then, she wanted to sit with Sophia in the Boppy. The Boppy was the most popular "toy," not sure why.

Anyway, Sophia is a little eatin', sleepin' angel. Mommy is feeling really great (much better than with Hailey). Pushing for 12 minutes really did make a huge difference in terms of my overall health. We're home now and each of the grandparents has had a chance to hold her. I'm going to try to rest for the next few days. I have doctor's orders not to lift anything over 10lbs (including Hailey) and not to climb the stairs more than 3-4 times a day for several weeks...several weeks!!!

Here are some pictures of Sophia.

Sophia's Sense of Humor

2009-03-20T13:18:00.000-07:00

We've waited for 9 days past her due date for Sophia to come. She decides that we need to drive to the hospital at 5:00pm on a Friday in Atlanta. Really?!?!?! This one's gonna be trouble. I can tell already. Contractions are 4-6 minutes apart now. Probably going to the hospital soon.

Bring on the Beer

2009-03-17T13:16:00.000-07:00

Just returned from the doctor where they checked my amniotic fluid levels to make sure that Sophia has a safe environment. It's a lovely environment; so I can continue the pregnancy until I'm rechecked again on Friday...yippee (I guess).

I was so disillusioned by the doctor's visit that I decided to stop to get beer on the way home (for myself not my parents, although they may need it too). Of course, the woman at the gas station just had to ask "when are you due?" It's hard to be polite at this point, but I put on my happiest Mommy face and said "I was due six days ago, that's why I'm buying beer. I may just have to drink her out." I think that she wasn't sure if I was kidding. On second thought, I'm not sure I was kidding. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What's a Due Date Anyway???

2009-03-11T12:08:00.000-07:00

It's just an estimate, and apparently not a very accurate one either. I mean what are the chances that I'd be 2 for 2 with going later than my due date. Inaccurate due dates or stubborn children? You decide.

PS: Of the 20 of you who gave me a birth date guess, 14 of you have already lost. Only 6 still left in the running!

Excuses, Excuses

2009-03-10T06:07:00.000-07:00

Every day now, I try to evaluate just how ready I am to have this baby on that particular day. Most days so far I’ve been able to come up with excuses for why Sophia should hold off a little longer. I’ve used all of the following:

Mom isn’t in town yet,
Hailey’s sick,
I didn’t sleep well the night before,
My bag isn’t packed,
Luke has an important meeting at work,
The weather is too nice to be inside a hospital,
I have half a carton of ice cream in the fridge that I need to eat first,
My friend is getting married next Saturday, etc.

Here’s the problem…I’m running out of excuses. In fact, all of the above have been remedied except the last two. I’m going to the doctor today. My due date is tomorrow. This baby is coming at some point in the very near future, and I’m getting a little nervous. Now that I’ve been through natural childbirth once, it’s a lot harder to be excited about it. So, I better start psyching myself up because it won’t be long now.

TPE and TPA Defined

2009-02-26T08:20:00.000-08:00

Tactical Parenting Error (TPE) - Everyone makes them, and you usually know as soon as you do because your child reminds you of your error constantly. For example, mentioning the park if you have no intention of going there, giving your hyper child chocolate milk before bedtime, making a promise that you can’t keep, introducing your child to a sugary food (like M&Ms…thank you Grandma). I call these tactical parenting errors because not only do they affect the parent/child dynamic at the time, but they also might have long term effects if, for example, your child asks for M&Ms every time you go to the store.

Tactical Parenting Adjustment (TPA) – This is a moment when you have to draw a line in the sand and dare your child to cross it so that they can experience the consequences. We’ve had two of these in the past two days. Two nights ago I had to tell Hailey that she would not get a story before bed if I had to come downstairs and carry her up for bed. I gave her every chance to make the right choice, and she did not. There was no story. There was 20 minutes of screaming and crying for Mommy to read her a story before she fell asleep. Next night no arguments before bed. Perfect TPA. This morning I had to take her Cheerios away because she kept getting up from the table and running around. Gave her two warnings and the Cheerios were taken away each time. On the third, she was told that this would be her last chance and the Cheerios would not come back if she got up again. She sat in her chair and ate them all with no questions asked. Classic TPA. No one likes having to make TPAs, but idol threats only work for so long. Sometimes you have to make the hard choices, and luckily for Hailey, I’m just stubborn enough to out stubborn her (at least for now!).

Best Hailey Quote from the Weekend...

2009-02-23T06:30:00.000-08:00

“I’m sad because you’re making me crazy.”

Oh, child, it's only just the beginning. I will be making you crazy for many many years to come. HAHAHAHAHA (evil laugh).

I Need a Nap; You Need a Nap

2009-02-17T11:51:00.000-08:00

By the age of 4, 50% of children will give up their afternoon naps. By the age of 5, about 70% stop napping. Well, Hailey’s a bit ahead of the curve. She’s only 2 (and a half), and she’s given up her nap. I didn’t really realize it until the teachers at school started telling me that she will just lay on her mat for 2 hours every day with her eyes open. She plays with her hair, sings songs to herself, talks, etc, but does not sleep. I protested for a while that she was a fabulous nap taker at home, sometimes sleeping for 3 hours in the afternoon. Well, turns out I’m a big fat liar. She doesn’t necessarily sleep at home. She plays in her bed (now her bunk bed) until I come to get her. She used to sleep really well, and from time to time if she’s been up late, she might sleep a little. However, for the most part, she does not take naps.

Here’s where Mommy panic sets in. I’m not ready for her to give up her nap. That’s the only time on the weekends when I can really attack my “to do” list with reckless abandon. That’s my quiet time, my football time during the season, my Mommy time!!! Ugh. Ok. Stop panicking. The best approach in this situation is denial. She still takes naps. Yup. I’m going to continue to put her down for naps just like normal, if she sleeps fine, if she doesn’t sleep fine. Everyone needs some quiet time in the afternoon, even Mommy.

Chores and the Evil Parents Who Create Them

2009-02-10T18:58:00.000-08:00

Ever since we found out that we were pregnant, we’ve tried to instill in Hailey a sense of chores and housework. We bought her a tall stool for the kitchen so that she can help cook, put away dishes, wash things, etc. Whenever I talk about her helping, I can’t stop myself from putting the word “help” in annoying little air quotes. Sometimes helping looks a lot like making a bigger mess. Sometimes it looks like only doing half of the job before being distracted, and sometimes it looks like Mama doing most of the actual work. So, you could say that we have a “helper” (if you include big air quotes and roll your eyes a little).

Still, she is getting much more independent, and she actually does help at times. For example, she often picks things up for me so that I don’t have to squish my belly trying to bend down. Picking things up for Mommy is an important chore at this stage in the game.

Anyway, I wanted to document some of the chores that she does around the house at the ripe old age of 2.5. And, no, we have not introduced the idea of an allowance so this is slave labor at this point….shhhhh don’t tell! Here's the list of things that she does when asked:

Put away the clean silverware in the drawer;
Feed the dog;
Make tacos or pizza;
Snap green beans or broccoli;
Dispense water for dinner (we keep towels handy);
Put dirty clothes in the hamper;
Help fill the washing machine (excuse the black sock in with the whites, please);
Put away her clean clothes (ok not yet, but this is coming shortly);
Wipe up spills that she makes;
Throws things in the garbage can (hopefully only when instructed);
Put things in the recycle bins;
Put (more like throw) her dishes in the sink after a meal; and
Wipe any surface with a baby wipe when given the opportunity.

For the most part, she loves doing these things. If you have any other chores that she could do, please let me know. I’m sure that she’ll be in charge of many other things when Sophia comes.

Binky Capers...The Finale

2009-02-09T07:01:00.000-08:00

I’m sure that you were on the edge of your seat all weekend wondering how the Binky Capers story would end. Well, let me tell you that our child is a champ! The night that we gave her the card from the Binky Fairy was the first night in her new bunk beds (pictures coming soon). She helped us round up all of the binkies in the house and put them in a Ziploc bag for Mommy to put on the porch (as per the Fairy’s detailed instructions). Then, we read a chapter of her Cindarella story, turned off the light, and she said “night night” as usual. Not another peep the rest of the night.

On Sunday morning when she woke up, she found a present and a big stuffed animal on the edge of her bed. She didn’t touch the present, but was giddy as a clam when I went in to wake her up. She was thrilled with the tea set that the binky fairy brought for her and played with it for a long time in the morning.

I would say that the whole thing was a huge success. She hasn’t asked for a binky since and even was brave enough to sleep on the top bunk last night. Of course, she didn’t take a nap on Sunday, but that’s a story for another blog.

Binky Capers

2009-02-04T04:47:00.000-08:00

The bunk beds arrived tonight and are in great condition. I was really concerned about what the"damage" would be. I mean, what damage could possibly be worth the $1,500 that I saved by purchasing them as returned merchandise? Well, the inside bottom of one of the drawers is smashed to the point that we'll need to replace it. Nothing cosmetic at all. They look perfect from the outside. It's no problem. Now we just need mattresses.

So, we've been telling Hailey that when the bunk beds come, she would have to give up her binky because she would be a big girl sleeping in a big girl bed. The binky is like toddler crack. You give it to her, her eyes roll back in her head, and she gets all mellow. It's great for us as parents. She really only gets it when she's going to bed, but in an emergency, we can give it to her in the car or on the plane. Here's the problem...it's not good for her teeth and I'd rather sacrifice a few nights of sleep now rather than pay thousands of dollars in orthodontia bills later. Thus, the decision has been made - the binky must go.

How do you get rid of the binky with minimal pain and suffering? Well, according to my expert friends, you create binky fairy who writes the toddler a letter asking her to mail all of her binkies to the poor babies who don't have any. In exchange, the binky fairy brings the toddler a present and voila, no more binkies. Yeah, I don't really believe that it's going to work either, but I don't have any better ideas. So, off I go to decieve my child yet again.

Eat Like an Italian

2009-01-22T07:23:00.000-08:00

To say that Italians like to eat would be to say that Hailey just likes her vitamins. No, Italians love to eat, and they take special pleasure in savoring their meals. I know this because I’m Italian, and I’ve eaten enough meals in Italy to know how long it can take to get through a typical dinner. It’s true. Each course is ordered and brought out separately with time to spare in between. Usually there are 4-6 courses, and the whole ordeal (I mean extravaganza) can last 2-4 hours. Of course, the time speeds by because you are enjoying lovely company and the most delicious food you’ve ever had in your whole life.

Hailey eats in a similar manner. For example, she may eat an entire bowl of spaghetti one noodle at a time. If she’s having salad, then each piece of lettuce must be dipped in salad dressing and eaten separately. Cherry tomatoes are quite possibly the most complicated because they require her to pick up the tomato with her hand and place it on the flat part of her fork then balance it there until it reaches her mouth. Should the tomato fall off, the procedure must start over from the beginning. Not surprisingly, peas undergo the same process, but there are obviously more of them, which only adds extra time as she balances each pea separately.

Of course, this whole eating process must be constantly interrupted by stories and anecdotes about anything and everything. The number of times that we must remind her to “keep eating” warrants us keeping a tape recorder at the table. Oh, forget it, Luke’s already building me an iPhone app so that I can just push the “keep eating” button. Or perhaps, I should take a clue from the Italians and enjoy spending that special time with my child every day. Now who is going to make me the delicious Italian food that makes it all worthwhile???

PS: Answer to Chinese Astrology Riddle – Snake = Alisa; Dog = Hailey; Tiger = Luke

The Relative Length of Eight Weeks

2009-01-14T11:31:00.000-08:00

Consider this - eight weeks ago we were still eating the remnants of our Halloween candy and stores were packed with the first signs of Christmas. I barely looked pregnant, and Hailey was still talking about her Tinkerbell costume (alright, that’s not a good example because she’s still talking about it to this day). Ok. Hailey had just gotten over the initial excitement of being Tinkerbell for Halloween. The leaves were falling off our two trees and littering our front yard with yellow and brown hues. Fall was just barely upon us here in the South; pumpkins were out, Thanksgiving was near, and all was peaceful in the Hamilton house.

Now, think about this…eight weeks from now, we will have another human being to love and care for. We will have a crying, screaming, fussing infant in the house. We will be sleep deprived. We, as in me, will be back to being a moo-cow milk machine. We will have to manage the needs of two children. We may wonder what we were thinking.

Then again, we will also have another little girl to love. We will have someone to snuggle with who doesn’t push us away and demand her vitamin again. We will have another source of entertainment. We will have the joy of introducing her to our friends and family. We will have someone to use all of those baby clothes and items that we’ve been saving for two years. We will learn to know and love our second little one just as much as the first.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to return to my nesting. However long you think eight weeks is, I’ll tell you that it doesn’t seem like long enough to tackle all of my nesting projects. God help my husband and child who must deal with my neuroses (plural) over the next eight weeks. For them, it must seem like eternity.

Logic Problem

2009-01-06T06:32:00.000-08:00

Not to brag, but I’m really good at logic. I know this because on several standard logic tests – GRE Logic Section and my logic class final exam in college – I did quite well. So, I think that I can say that according to adult standards, I’m a logical person (or at least good at stupid logic problems).

Thus, you could imagine my surprise when I came to find out that by two-year-old standards, I’m completely illogical. Here’s how I came to understand how truly illogical I am in Hailey’s eyes:

Hailey wants a princess vitamin every time she sees the bottle sitting on the counter. The fact that I don’t just hide them should have been clue number one that I’m illogical. Still, we have gone through this same conversation at least 5 times a day…

Hailey: “Mommy, I want my vitamin”

Mommy: “No Hailey. You only can have 1 vitamin a day.”

Hailey: “Mommy, I want my vitamin”

Mommy: “You already had your vitamin today. You can have another one tomorrow.”

After having this conversation for 2 weeks, I finally devised a strategy. I would let her use her budding logic skills to figure out that she can’t have a vitamin. Here’s how I revised the conversation this week:

Hailey: “Mommy, I want my vitamin”

Mommy: “Hailey, how many vitamins are you allowed to have every day?”

Hailey: “Five”

Mommy: “No”

Hailey: “Two”

Mommy: “No”

Hailey: “One”

Mommy: “Yes. And how many vitamins have you had today?”

Hailey: “Six”

Mommy: “No”

Hailey: “Three”

Mommy: “No”

Hailey: “One”

Mommy: “Yes. So, how many more vitamins are you allowed to have?”

Hailey: “Three”

Mommy: “No”

Hailey: “Four”

Mommy: “No”

Hailey: “One”

Mommy: “No. You can have zero vitamins now because you’ve already had your one vitamin for the day.”

Here’s where it falls apart for me.

Hailey: “I want my zero vitamin, Mommy”

Nesting - Instinct or Obsession?

2009-01-05T08:25:00.000-08:00

I really don’t remember having the nesting instinct as badly with Hailey. Maybe that’s because I was feeding my instinct with frequent trips to consignment sales. This time around I only have three major things that I need to purchase: 1) a white crib and dresser set; 2) a Britax carseat; and 3) a B.O.B. double stroller. Of course, I refuse to purchase any of these things new because that’s why God invented Craig’s List. Plus, the stroller is ridiculously expensive.

However, this brings me to a dilemma because I can’t really nest without having the dresser that I need to put all of Sophia’s little clothes in. Plus, we need major changes in Hailey’s room to accommodate another child and to make it more fun for a toddler. So, instead of actually nesting, I’m just being a fanatical Craig’s List stalker. Soon, I’ll be a consignment sale stalker, not because I actually need to buy anything, but because it might help to scratch the nesting itch. Oh, I’ve got it bad…real bad! I hope that our check book can keep up.

"Open This, Please"

2008-12-25T18:27:00.000-08:00

Ready to open presents, Mom!

Oh boy...Time to open!!!

Stickers are a big hit

Nothing like a little PlayDoh fun before nap

"I wish my fever would end"

What a fun day! Hailey woke up at 6:00am begging to go downstairs to see if Santa came. I was able to hold her off until about 6:45, but then we HAD to go see what Santa had brought. I had my camera all ready for a major gasp when she saw all of the gifts, but she wasn't too impressed at first. Then, we started opening and her story changed. She was into it. Every gift had to be opened and unboxed and explored. By far, her favorite phrase was "open this." She must have said that in a variety of ways, tones, and inflections every time a new gift was unwrapped.

After our nap (yes, Mommy needed one too!), we went over to our Uncle Frank and Aunt Michelle's house for more gift unwrapping and some family time. Hailey was so fortunate in all of the wonderful gifts that she received, and of course, all of the attention that she received. Unfortunately, she's had a terrible fever since Monday. So, the evening ended with her laying on the couch in a feverish stupor. Poor thing!

I Feel So Dirty

2008-12-21T06:57:00.000-08:00

I purchased my daughter the most ridiculous pair of princess sneakers that you've ever seen for Christmas. Not only do they have 3 princesses on them, but they also have glittery parts, silver shiny parts, and pink parts on them. Oh, and they light up! Ridiculous. She loves them, of course. And, yes, she did put them on herself in these pictures so they are on the wrong feet.

Varicose Veins, Heartburn, and Other Joys of Pregnancy

2008-12-19T06:51:00.000-08:00

I know I should be writing about the joys of Christmas and the wonders of experiencing this magical holiday with a wide-eyed little girl, but frankly I’m a bit cranky today. Consider this my official “honeymoon is over” entry. Yes, this pregnancy is now at the stage where I’d like a divorce please. How many more weeks do I have???

I was diagnosed with my first varicose vein yesterday. It’s not in a place that’s highly visible, but is in a place where it’s constantly throbbing. Also, the heartburn has kicked in. Not the once in a while heartburn though…we’re talking after every meal type heartburn. I’ve purchased three bottles of Pepcid in the past 48 hours. Granted, I haven’t eaten all the Pepcids yet, I just needed one bottle for my desk, one for my purse, one for the bedroom, and one for the dining room. You never can be too careful.

Lies and the Lying Parents Who Tell Them

2008-12-10T18:48:00.000-08:00

"Santa doesn't bring presents to little girls who whine."

"Santa doesn't bring presents to naughty girls."

"Santa will bring your presents to Buffalo this year."

I catch Luke saying these thing to Hailey from time to time. It bothers me a little even though I know that these are things that have been said to our children for decades. I guess I'm just not bought in to the whole Santa thing so I'm blaming him for these statements, even though I may have uttered them myself.

Come to think of it, I just hope that someday Hailey is smart enough to turn to us and say "then, why did Santa bring me presents last year when I bit my sister?" or "how does Santa cover the whole globe in one night, and why don't we use his transportation technology to get from place to place instead of airplanes which appear to be much less efficient?" That would just be perfect.

Separation Anxiety

2008-12-05T07:04:00.000-08:00

Hailey started her new school on Wednesday. As I expected, drop offs in the morning have been extremely difficult and often require the teacher to pry her out of my arms while she cries and screams. I know that after we are gone, she settles down and seems to enjoy the rest of her day. Yesterday, she got a little sad when other Mommies started picking up her classmates. Luckily, I arrived just after she burst into tears and was able to spend a long time with her in the classroom.

I expected this difficulty during drop-off in the morning, but I didn’t expect the separation anxiety to carry over so strongly at home. For the past few nights, beginning when she was sick, she’s woken up multiple times during the night and cried for Mommy. For the first few nights, one of us would go in and comfort her, give her water, or whatever she wanted. Unfortunately, I have a really hard time going back to sleep after each outburst because I just can’t get comfortable. So, I was quickly becoming really sleep deprived. Last night we finally decided that we had to just let her cry it out. If we continued to go in there, then she would continue to cry out for us even though she didn’t really need anything. If I moved her into our bed, which was our first instinct, then where do we draw the line and when do we move her back to her bed? I guess I am trying to justify our actions because I feel like a bad Mommy, but I really believe that sticking as closely to her routine as possible is the best remedy over the long haul.

Talky, Talk, Talk

2008-12-02T08:46:00.000-08:00

Hailey has been home sick for the past two days with her Daddy. His company has a “take as many days as you need but get your work done policy;” mine does not. So, he is the dedicated caregiver for now. I’m trying to save every possible day for my maternity leave.

Anyway, yesterday I was IMing Luke to ask him how Hailey was when she woke up. His response made me laugh outloud… “A little fever and nonstop talking.” Yeah. Nonstop talking is not so much a symptom of the cold as it is a symptom of having a little girl in the house. It really is nonstop. Sometimes she won’t stop to eat. It’s just constant chatter, questions, answers, gibberish, more questions, remarks about things that happened days ago, commentary on the state of the weather outside, reminders of the last boo boo she had, reminders of who caused said boo boo, demands to go potty, discussions of what happens on the potty, etc, etc. You get the picture. It just goes on and on.

It can be quite exhausting to deal with someone who lacks any internal dialogue because I always want her to know that we’re listening to her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. It’s quite adorable, and I know that there will be a day when she decides not to talk to us anymore. I’m sure that will be worse. So for now, I’ll enjoy each little conversation that we have even if it’s the eighteenth time today that we’ve talked about the fact that it’s raining.

Hungry Hungry Hippo

2008-11-14T11:54:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else remember that game? You would drop marbles onto the board and then control a little hippo head to try to eat up all of the marbles. If you tipped the board at all towards your hippo, all of the marbles would go sliding right towards its head. Well, that’s kind of how I feel at every meal these days. It’s almost like the table is tipped to my side and all of the food is sliding off into my mouth.

For the first 3-4 months of pregnancy, I really ate almost exactly like I did before I was pregnant. Then, all of a sudden in the past 3 weeks my appetite has come alive. I will get to the point in a meal where I’ll look down at my plate and think, based on past experience, that I should stop, but in reality that’s when I’m about half way finished. I pack lunches that used to fill me up and find that an hour later I need a snack. It’s ridiculous. I’m like a walking eating machine. I’m so afraid to weigh myself at home that I just pretend we have no scales. I’m going to go to the doctor next week and find that I’ve gained 25 lbs in a month!

I guess I should have accompanied this blog with a picture of my ever-expanding belly. Maybe I'll post one later for your entertainment.

Voting Saga

2008-11-04T13:03:00.000-08:00

First some background... Lines to vote early in ga have been running 4-6 hours. That's not the oversensationalized news reports. That's actual people we know who voted. So, in my boy-scout like way, I decided that we were going to be prepared this election day. Polls opened at 7am. I planned to get there, Hailey and Luke in tow, by 6am with all of the equipment necessary to stand outside for the long haul. So, we go running up to the polling station with a stroller, camping chairs, blankets, breakfast, a bag of stuff for hailey and of course our IDs at 6:15am. A line has already formed but no worries... We are prepared. They pass out numbers at about 6:20 and we are numbers 97 & 98. About ten minutes later, they take 100 of us down to the game room of the rec center where they turn on Ratatouille (the movie) for us to watch. Of course, this is a wonderful surprise, but now Luke and I are the only goofballs carrying all of the aforementioned crap all over the rec center. The whole thing was so funny and such a clear indictment of my Type A personality. We ended up voting at about 7:30am. No problems. I let Hailey push the button which is illegal, but it didn't actually work when she pushed it so I did it myself...legally. Anyway, that's our voting story. We had a good time at an election party last night, and feel refreshed at the outcome.

Drama

2008-10-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

It’s funny how people react to the prospect of me having two girls. Mostly it’s with sympathy, sometimes laughter. For example, someone said to me today, “You are going to have a lot of drama in your life.” That was probably the best way that anyone thus far has summarized my fears, which is fitting since the person who said it has two young girls of his own.

Yes, I think that we probably are in for a lot of drama. In fact, when I think about two girls growing up together through the life phases, I start to get a little panicky right about when they hit adolescence. That’s pretty much the point at which I’m sure that they are going to hate me, break my heart, and Luke is going to become the sole parental figure in their lives. I’ve wallowed in the inevitability of this vision of the future for about a week now. Today, I just decided enough is enough. I need to see this as a challenge, not a certainty. I remember a while back I had heard a story on NPR about The Mother-Daughter Project. It’s a group that helps mothers form strong bonds with their daughters even before adolescence so that they can maintain a strong relationship through the toughest years. I probably need to buy their new book. Anyway, I feel renewed hope that just because I was a horrible, moody, cranky, unpleasant teenager, doesn’t mean that my girls have to be.

Oh, did I just say “my girls?” I guess I better get used to that phrase!

My Least Favorite Word

2008-10-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

My least favorite word in the English language (if you can call it a word) is “huh.” It wasn’t always my least favorite word, but it has become such over the past week. Of course, this new status coincides with Hailey adopting it as her favorite word.

Now, before you start thinking that she has a hearing problem, let me assure you that she hears just fine when she wants to. For example, “Hailey, would you like a cookie?” “Yes, Mommy.” “Hailey, can you come over here and put on your shoes?” “Huh.” You see, she doesn’t have a hearing problem, she just has selective hearing.

I guess that she’s going to adopt favorite words that are worse than this in the future, but for now I’m just not going to play her little game. Even if she says it, I will not repeat myself even if I happen to be offering her something delicious. Ah, the beauty of trying to outsmart your kids.

It's a Girl!!!!

2008-10-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

I can already feel my panic setting in...two girls! Oh the hormones, the dating, the makeup, the clothes, the attitudes, the ensuing boys! Does someone have a paper bag I can breathe into??? Maybe a Tums or two or five??? Well, I guess there's always boarding school.

In truth, Luke and I are thrilled. I'm hoping for a redhead. He's hoping for blue eyes. So, basically, we're having a brown eyed, brown haired girl for sure. As long as she's healthy and at least as happy as Hailey, we'll be ok.

We have pictures and video from the ultrasound this morning, but I couldn't be organized enough to actually post those. So, here's a post-ultrasound picture for you.

Funny Exchanges

2008-10-04T19:25:00.000-07:00

Hailey: "Mommy, my poopie hurts."
Mommy: "You mean your bum hurts?"
Hailey: "My bum hurts."
Mommy: "Why does you bum hurt?"
Hailey: "My bum hurts, kiss it better."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hailey: "Where's Mommy?"
Nana: "She's downstairs sweeping."
Hailey: "I go wake her up."

The Barter System

2007-08-29T05:58:00.000-07:00

No one ever told me that I would have to learn a new currency system when I had a toddler, but so it is. Toddlers, as you may know, have their own special sense of “mine,” whether or not they can actually say the word. Once Hailey gets her little fingers around an item of “value,” she evokes her super-powered death grip, and it’s nearly impossible to get it away from her. Unless, that is, you can offer to trade her for an item of even greater value. I’ve been honing my bargaining skills with her for the past few weeks. Just to give you an example, yesterday morning, she was running around the house with a pen. I decided that maybe that’s not such a good idea so I tried to trade her for a spoon. Ha, ha, clearly not good enough. Let’s try again, but this time with a hair brush…bingo!!! A hairbrush apparently has a greater value than a pen. So, Hailey held out the pen to me and then quietly placed it on the ground in front of her as if she were dropping a deadly weapon. Then, she promptly snatched up the hairbrush with her death grip.

Now, as with any currency, there are some items that have the highest of all values. Let’s call them the diamonds of the toddler world. What items are those? Keys (only Mommy’s keys that she uses, not any plastic or other substitute), cell phones (only if it’s on and functioning), and remote controls (only the ones that actually control the electronics, and they must have batteries). That is what I’ve learned of the toddler barter system so far. If anyone else has any high value items that I might use in my future negotiations, please let me know.

Holiday Blues

2007-08-20T10:40:00.000-07:00

Around this time each year, panic begins to well up from deep down inside. That’s because it’s about time to start making holiday plans, and I absolutely hate it. If you know me at all, you’ll know that there are two things that I dislike more than anything in the world: 1) conflict and 2) disappointing people I love. Planning for the holidays has the potential to create both. Thus, I hate it.

With four grandparents living in four different states, there’s no way to make everyone happy and that causes me GREAT anxiety. Originally, we said that we would just rotate from year to year, but that’s probably not a realistic plan for a number of reasons. For example, last year we stayed home for Christmas which means that this year we should travel, but that’s difficult because I’m taking almost all of my vacation to go to Italy. The whole traveling to different places each year is also complicated by the three important facts: 1) I hate the idea of dragging Hailey through an airport during the holiday rush; 2) I want to start creating our own family traditions in our own house; and 3) I have a great fear of being stuck in the airport over the holidays. Still, I would put all of this behind me if I could make everyone happy, but I can’t! So, what are we to do?

The Parrot

2007-08-19T17:54:00.000-07:00

Every parent probably has that moment when you say something in front of your child and immediately feel sheer panic as you imagine your lovely child repeating your dirty word or phrase over and over again. I've been particularly careful lately because Hailey has gone into repeat mode. The other day on the way to the doctor I said, "Hailey, did you make Mama a poopie?" Of course, she started saying poopie, poopie, poopie as we walked into the doctor's office (as if people couldn't smell it already!). So, I'm very conscious that she is a human parrot.

Well, this evening, I was cutting a jalepeno and accidentally transfered some of the hot stuff from my hand to my mouth when I licked my fingers like a complete idiot. I said a few unsavory words as my mouth was burning up. Then, I turned to look at my innocent little child sitting in her highchair looking at me. Thank goodness she was too busy eating to notice my indiscretion. Still, it's a scary thought to consider what might have happened. Honestly, I'm not much of a swearer, but there are some people out there that just have potty mouths. I guess their kids are the ones getting kicked out of daycare for saying dirty words. That's a sad thought.

Oh, on another note, I just looked up how to spell poopie because it's just not a word that I use every day (unless I'm writing a blog). Turns out you can spell it poopie or poopy...who knew??!?!?

The Walking Terror

2007-08-13T06:25:00.000-07:00

Whenever I tell someone that Hailey is a year old, the next question is always, “Is she walking yet?” As I beam with maternal pride, I love to tell friends, family, and mere acquaintances that she actually started walking about a week before her first birthday. Here’s where the response that I get back differs depending on who I’m talking to. People that haven’t had kids or who had toddlers many years ago always respond very positively. People who have recently experienced the toddler years unanimously provide one answer: “I’m sorry.”

I used to wonder what their problem was. In general, she’s been no more trouble now than she was before she was walking. She can’t reach anything walking that she couldn’t already reach standing; so, she doesn’t get into any more stuff than usual at home. She was a pretty quick crawler; so, she’s not much faster walking (yet).

Unfortunately, this weekend I realized the fundamental difference between a crawling baby and a walking baby, and I learned it the hard way. You see, now that Hailey walks, no mode of transportation will suffice except walking. Alas, being pushed in a stroller or shopping cart is no longer cool with her. Nope. It’s all about the walking now. At home it’s not that big a deal, but when we’re shopping it’s next to impossible. I spent most of the weekend chasing her around various stores making sure that she didn’t start throwing glassware up and down the aisles. It was challenging to say the least. Luckily, I’m not a big shopper, but this means no more grocery shopping, no more Target shopping, and no more farmer’s market with Mommy. Daddy is going to have to keep her entertained at home. Either that, or I’m going to have to become one of those parents that I always scoffed at and put my baby on a leash!

This Blog Is Not for the Faint of Heart

2007-08-05T17:34:00.000-07:00

Hailey has her first case of severe diaper rash. Actually, it's her first case of diaper rash ever. It started on Friday when she inexplicably started having diarrhea. It was terrible. So, pop quiz...what's the best cure for diaper rash? Ding, ding, ding. It's not wearing a diaper! I bet that you can already picture how I spent my weekend. There's nothing that proves a mother's love more than cleaning up her child's urine (and other stuff) off of the hardwood floors over and over and over again all weekend long. What joyous fun! I think that we have the diarrhea under control now thanks to my aggressive BRAT diet (that's Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast for those of you that haven't done this in a while). Hailey will be lucky if she can ever poop again!

PS: The picture is in black and white because we went to see the Annie Leibovitz collection at the High Museum today.

Wishes for Hailey on Her First Birthday

2007-07-30T16:58:00.000-07:00

I've thought about what I would write for Hailey's first birthday for many months now. There's really no way to express my love for her or to detail how that love grows every day. There's also no way to sum up the first year of her life in any way that would adequately capture all of the giggles, smiles, kisses, tears, and fun that we've shared. So, I decided to just write down my hopes for her in the best way I know how - a bulleted list!

I hope that you grow up to be a strong, independent, intelligent woman;
I hope that you always appreciate all of your personal strengths and have the courage to work on your weaknesses;
I hope that you never look in the mirror and wish that someone different would look back at you;
I hope that you remember that no matter how far away your family is, they will always love you and support you;
I hope that you someday appreciate how many hearts you've captured in just 1 year;
I hope that your life is enriched by many friendships;
I hope that you meet a man as wonderful, talented, and helpful as your father;
I hope that you are blessed with all of the joys that life has to offer and that you are able to learn from all of its sorrows;
I hope that you figure out what your talents are and use them for the good of those around you;
I hope that you always know how much your mother loves you.

Of course, I'm sure that I've had many more hopes for you over the past year, but I thought that I'd write down a few now. If anyone else has any wishes for Hailey, please put them in the comments.

Let the Crying Begin

2007-07-24T09:31:00.001-07:00

Hailey has quickly gone from being a sweet little baby to a strong-willed toddler in what seems like overnight. Yesterday she discovered how to dip the bubble wand into the bubble mix. She would even hold it up and blow in its general direction. No bubbles, of course, but it’s pretty funny to watch her try. Later, we had a major standoff because it was time to put the bubbles away, and she wanted to keep the bubble wand. When Mommy took it away, there was a bit of a tantrum with much gnashing of the teeth. She’s so dramatic too. She’ll sit and put her little forehead down on the floor so that she’s folded on top of herself while she’s screaming. It’s really killer.

Anyway, she has become overly attached to anything that she’s holding, and it’s impossible to coax things away from her without having a major struggle. I try to be very polite and hold out my hand to ask her to give it to me (instead of grabbing because I don’t want to encourage grabbing). Unfortunately, when she has something she wants, she just locks down the death grip. Sometimes I can make a trade, but most of the time it’s impossible. She’s also grown attached to a blankie which I now have to rip out of her little claws every morning. When did this happen, and how do I make it stop?

New Friends

2007-07-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

When I moved to Nashville, I did a terrible job of making friends in the beginning. Granted, I was in graduate school so it’s not like I had a whole lot of free time on my hands. Still, I’m trying to learn from my mistakes by really pushing to make lots of friends in Atlanta.

So far, I’ve made a ton of acquaintances from all different venues: work, the neighborhood, Luke’s work, Mom’s groups etc. Now, I’m wondering if I have so many acquaintances that I won’t have enough time to make any real long term friendships. I was talking to my college roommate, Nikki, the other day, and she mentioned that she has a “second family” of friends where she lives in Sacramento. I guess I’m hoping to get to that point here someday.

Hailey actually makes it quite a bit easier to “meet” people, but the problem is that everyone is running in different directions with their heads cut off trying to raise their children. The nerve of them! Anyway, we made a list of all of the couples that we wanted to have dinner with in the next few months and the list was overwhelming. So, I think that we’re going to have one big party instead. I know it’s not ideal, but I hope that it’s a good way to reconnect with people and get them all together. When things slow down in the fall, we can start a more personalized strategy. Wish us luck on our new friend initiative!

PS: I promise that new pictures are coming soon!!!

Top 10 Things Dog Training Taught Me About Raising Children

2007-07-09T18:20:00.000-07:00

Since Josie has come back into our lives, I've started to remember all of the dog training that we did with her back when she was a puppy. Actually, dog training was more about training us than about training her. Our amazing trainer, Tracy Ann, was much like the Dog Whisperer; she taught us all about how to become the leaders of our little family pack. I knew that getting Josie a few years before we had kids would certainly teach Luke and me a lot about responsibility. What I didn’t count on was how much the process of training her would influence our parenting style. So, here are the top 10 dog training tips that we use regularly with Hailey:

10) Both parents must participate and be on the same page when it comes to discipline.
9) Adults must exert themselves as the leaders in the family. For dogs, that means eating first, walking through doorways first, and otherwise setting the tone for proper behavior. For Hailey, it means not letting her dictate her way all the time.
8) Use "no" only when necessary or it will become meaningless.
7) Use distraction or incompatible commands to control undesirable behavior.
6) A calm parent = a calm dog/baby
5) Do not positively reinforce negative behaviors like laughing when she bites or making a game out of hitting people.
4) Practice what you preach. Don't be aggressive toward the dog if you don't want the dog to be aggressive toward you.
3) Socialize, socialize, socialize. A well socialized dog/baby makes for a calmer dog/baby when out in public.
2) Exercise both the mind and body to ensure proper sleep and eating habits.
1) Heap on as much love and positive reinforcement as you can.

In Hailey news, we are taking a few steps from time to time, but no actual walking yet. Her favorite word at the moment is doggy, which sounds a little like Dada, but clearly has a long eeeee on the end.

We were in Nashville last weekend celebrating her first birthday (a little early). The pictures of the cake debacle are hysterical so I will try to get them up in the next couple days. While we were there, I did come to the frightening realization that she weighs more than her friend Corbin who is 5 months older than she is. She’s so solid, and those thighs are killer!

Miss Independence

2007-07-05T09:41:00.000-07:00

How appropriate that Hailey choose Independence Day to assert a little independence of her own. Yesterday was the first day that she made a regular practice of standing all by herself. It wasn’t just that she would let go of my hand when she was standing. It was an actual “I’m going to pull myself up and stand without holding on,” and she did it over and over again. I’m afraid that her crawling days are numbered. I can’t believe that I’m going to be chasing a toddler around soon!

We also went to our new community pool for the first time yesterday. Her first swimming adventure started out with lots of crying and clinging to Mommy, but eventually she warmed up to it. In fact, by the end I was able to put her in her little floaty boat and pull her around the water. She thought that was very cool.

New words for the week: hat, up, and doggy.

Dog Meet Baby Update

2007-06-29T05:55:00.000-07:00

Ok. I got more of a full version of the story yesterday from Luke. Apparently, Hailey was harassing Josie repeatedly. I believe that may have included messing with Josie’s injured leg. Josie growled once to warn her and then got snippy, but didn’t bite. So, now I’m looking at this as a positive thing. Obviously, Hailey was really bugging Josie despite warnings. Josie didn’t bite her although she certainly could have. Now, it’s up to us as the parents to just watch their interactions very closely and intervene whenever Josie gives any type of mixed message. Josie really is a very sweet and obedient dog. I don’t think that she would hurt any of us on purpose, but accidents do happen. We just have to do our best to minimize the chances.

Dog Meet Baby

2007-06-27T18:34:00.000-07:00

During our move from Nashville to Atlanta, we were in a period of rapid housing transition, which included living in a one bedroom condo for several months. Because of the considerable upheaval, our three year old border collie, Josie, went to live with my Mom and Harry temporarily. I'm sure that she had an absolute blast with them as they live right on the water and have considerable land on which she can roam.

Last Wednesday, Mom and Harry returned Josie to us and her new life here in Atlanta. Our new house backs up to a dog park, so we were convinced that Josie would be very happy as long as we took her to the dog park at least once a day. So far, that's pretty much true, and we've kept to a once or twice day routine. What I didn't really know how to plan for was the baby/dog dynamic. Josie is a herding dog; Hailey is a crawling baby. Do you see where this is going?

For the first few days, the two really kept their distance, but I kept a very watchful eye on their interactions because Josie seemed very unsure about how to react. Today, I came home from a dinner function to hear that Josie had growled and nipped at Hailey. Although she didn't bite and probably wouldn't, it was a really scary revelation both for me and for Hailey at the moment. Hearing this news was the first time that I've had to come to grips with the fact that Josie may have to find a new, childless home. I'm obviously crying as I write this because I absolutely LOVE this dog. She's been a great friend to us, and we've invested an unbelievable amount of time in training her and loving her and caring for her. We just failed her in that we didn't expose her to enough children at an early age, and I don't know if there's anything that we can do about it at this point. That's not to say that Josie's fate is inevitable, but I'm asking myself, "Would she be happier elsewhere?" "Is it fair to keep her?" "Is it unsafe to have her around the baby?" I'm sure that I'm probably overreacting a bit, but that is my job now that I'm a mother. In all likelihood, Josie and Hailey will learn to coexist in a peaceful and respectful way, but I still have to worry because that's what I do now.

Everyone Loves a Good Routine

2007-06-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

Before we had children, one of the pieces of advice that we heard most frequently was “children love routine.” So far, we’ve found that to be 100% true with Hailey. Our daily routine means that she gets enough naps, eats regularly, goes to bed painlessly at a normal hour, and wakes up at about the same time we do. Unfortunately, with the number of visitors that we’ve had at our house in the last month, Hailey’s routine is often interrupted on the weekends. She sometimes gets one nap instead of two, eats later than usual, and/or is up until well past 10pm. But, the truth of the matter is that she adjusts fairly well. Sure there’s a little crankiness here or there, but in general, that crankiness is coming from me, not Hailey!

It’s true. I love our routine. Life is so much easier when we are all in sync. Now that Luke works a regular schedule, he’s home with us in the evenings. It’s great to do things as a family, even if that just includes making dinner, cleaning up, and playing with Hailey before bedtime. It’s funny how less stressful life became when I started thinking and planning ahead. Now our dinner menu for the week is prepared and posted by Sunday. The groceries are purchased for each week in one batch (hopefully), lunches are prepared the night before, and the kitchen is cleaned every night after dinner. Having life this routinized takes some time, patience, and sacrifices, but I think that the payoff is huge. I’m trying not to let life get too monotonous, to not schedule everything, to leave room for spontaneity. That part is more of a struggle for me than creating and maintaining a routine. But, we’ll find the right balance. Slowly but surely, I think we’ll figure it out.

Another Baby, Already?!?!?

2007-06-19T17:28:00.000-07:00

Ha! Made you look!!! No, we're not pregnant, but I have been thinking about it a lot lately. Maybe it's because Hailey's getting close to a year old so more and more people are hinting that it's about time for us to have another one. A few months ago, I was really into the idea, but I've since come to my senses. So, here are the top 10 reasons why I'm not ready to have another child:

10) I've only been able to fit into my pre-baby clothes for a few months and I'm liking this thin thing. 9) I just stopped breastfeeding about a month ago which means that I just now actually got my body back
8) Hailey's toys have already taken over the house. I can't imagine having to pull out more infant toys again.
7) Hailey sleeps through the night. A new infant wouldn't.
6) Although I wouldn't do it any differently the second time, natural childbirth is a bit tough and not something I would look forward to right away.
5) I haven't found a midwife that I like in Atlanta.
4) We are just getting settled into our new life here, and a new baby would certainly complicate things.
3) I just started my new job and maternity leave is not something I'd like to bring up at the moment
2) We can't afford it. Daycare is expensive, and I can't imagine paying for two.
1.5) I'm really looking forward to going through the pregnancy/childbirth process again (I'm one of those weirdos that enjoys it), but this time I'll know for sure that it will probably be my last time. So, I want to be able to savor it.
1) I just got good at being a Mommy to one, and I've heard that one plus one does not equal two when it comes to children!!!

Since When?!?!?

2007-06-17T15:29:00.000-07:00

Living with an early toddler is like... well, I don't know what it's like exactly! All I know is that everyday I learn something about Hailey, and Hailey learns something about the world around her. So, I find myself trying to teach her the name of everything. Today, I tried all day to teach her to point at her nose when I said "nose" - a very useful skill. Unfortunately, she just wouldn't catch on. Then, while I was cooking our Father's Day dinner Luke says, "Look, I taught Hailey where her nose is!" Since it was Father's Day, I let him revel in his great teaching skills for about 3 seconds (at least 2 seconds longer than usual) before I told him that I'd already been teaching that to her all day. Geez!

I also find myself saying things like "Since when do we hate to get in our car seat" and "Since when do we roll over onto our belly every time I try to change your diaper." It's like she's constantly trying to exert her will over mine. Perhaps she hasn't realized that I'm the stubbornest person in the whole world (so is her Daddy by the way). There will be an epic test of wills from here on out. If you were going to place bets, who do you think is going to win???

Teachable Moments

2007-06-12T06:24:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while Hailey has a moment of complete clarity in the middle of her baby babble. It’s in these quiet moments, when I can point to something, sound out the name for it, and wait for her to try to say it. We had one of those teaching sessions just the other day when I tried to get her to say “ducky” in the bath tub. I kept saying “duh kee” very slowly, and she would say “duh blah” or “duh pa,” but she was clearly trying to mimic my sound. That’s how we’ve taught her all of her words so far. It doesn’t happen very often that she has the type of focus to really listen and try, but when she does it’s amazing, regardless of whether she gets it or not. Just the fact that she’s trying and she knows what she’s supposed to be doing is such a wonderful feeling.

In other news, she has two top teeth now, and I think that she’s getting one of her eye teeth as well. There’s a lot of teething going on. I’ll try to post a picture later tonight.

By Golly, I Think She's Got It!!!

2007-06-08T04:06:00.000-07:00

There's nothing better than the moment that your child understands something for the first time. We've been trying to teach Hailey the signs for "more" and "all done" so that she doesn't just sit in her high chair and whine. We started this when she was about 6 months. She's 10 months now, and I think that she just might have it down. It's not a perfect system. No, there are still moments of whining and crying, but I think that she gets the basics. This morning she not only said more when she was out of bananas (without whining), but she also very calmly did the sign for all done just before she started whining o get out of her chair. It was amazing. Tomorrow I'm sure that she won't do it at all, but at least for the moment she gets it. So, I'm going to go bask in the glory of success before I move on to trying to teach her how to finally say Mama!

"Mommy, why are you a b*#&^?"

2007-05-04T12:44:00.000-07:00

I am having some type of emotional breakdown. I guess that it's a combination of the stress of the new move and the weaning. I've pretty much stopped breastfeeding. I had cut back, but now I don't think that I make enough to satisfy her even when I do feed her. So, I think that she's pretty much done with me. I thought that the weaning process would be easy. Kind of like just tapering out, but I am a complete witch. I'm having crazy mood swings. If this is what menopause is like, then count me out!

What Will I Be?

2007-04-18T18:04:00.000-07:00

I'm sure that every mother wonders what her child will be when he/she grows up. I think about that a lot now that Hailey is developing her own personality. So far, I'm thinking she'll be some type of entertainer. She's such an extrovert already. It takes her no time at all to warm up to anyone, and she loves to be the center of attention. She has such a happy, wonderful personality. I'm trying to soak in all of the smiles while she's giving them. I'm sure they'll be hard to find when she hits her teenage years!

Here's a picture of Hailey playing the piano at Grandpa Pete's house. She really enjoyed banging away on it. I certainly hope that she has more musical talent (and follow-through) than I did.

In other news, I did find a day care finally. She's going to be in a family home similar to the one that she was in first in Nashville. There are only 6 kids and they are all older than Hailey. I like that she'll have exposure to older kids. It should be a good fit. Luke's office is also considering starting a daycare when they move to their new facility. So, that might be an option in the future.

Life's Major Trade-Offs

2007-04-17T20:12:00.000-07:00

So far, I love Atlanta. The people have been very nice. It's much more diverse. There are more job opportunities, and I bought a GPS system to help me with the streets. So, it's great!

However, these last two trips - to Buffalo and Virginia - reminded me again just how difficult it is to be away from family. It was one thing before the baby, but Hailey makes family even more important. I know everyone misses her, and we miss everyone as well. We have no support system here, which just makes life more difficult. Still, I'm glad we're here, but someday I'd like to have family nearby again.

In other news, here is the website for our new community in Atlanta. We move in at the end of the month. www.glenwoodpark.com

8 Months - The Age of Exploration

2007-04-07T10:53:00.000-07:00

Forget Dora, our little Hailey has become quite the explorer. She's so independent. She wants to touch everything, and then put it in her mouth! She only wants to eat what she can grab. She only wants to be where she can roll around. She only wants to play with something that she can hold on her own. Like it or not, she's Little Miss Independence. It's fun to watch, but hard to handle, particularly because she's fearless.

We are in Buffalo until tomorrow when we'll be going to Virginia to visit Grandma. In other news, we've sold our house in Nashville and purchased a house in Atlanta. Life is going to be super busy for a while. We should be moved and settled at the beginning of May. I can't believe how fast this has all happened!

PS: There are more pictures on the Flickr account. www.flickr.com/photos/lukehamilton

No Need For Mom

2007-03-30T05:10:00.000-07:00

Hailey can feed herself now. Yup, it's true. She can pick up tiny objects like Cheerios and Veggie Crackers and shove them in her own mouth. I guess my job here is done!! Actually, since we"ve started this eating on our own thing, we've lost all interest in eating any baby food. We've also stopped sleeping through the night. It's always one step forward, two steps back!

Atlanta - Adventures on the Road

2007-03-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

I have driven in Atlanta for exactly one day, but here are some things that I know to be true:

1) Whoever named the streets was either incredibly uncreative or really stupid, probably both. All of the streets are named the same thing, and I'm not just talking about the infamous Peachtree. No, it includes lots of other streets that bear the same name, and are only delineated as Drive, Street, Circle, or Avenue. It's craziness.

2) They certainly don't skimp on the syllables when it comes to street names. Here are a few that I ran across today...Ponce de Leon Ave, Ralph David Abernathy Freeway, Joseph E Lowery Blvd, and let's not forget Ralph McGill Blvd, where we currently live! When they name a street after me, I'm going to call it Alisa Catherine Palmisano Hamilton Blvd Circle.

3) Whenever the street namers came up with a new fantastic street name, they must have just picked any random street and given it that name, regardless of whether it already had a name. That's the only explanation for why all of the streets suddenly change names at completely random intersections.

4) There's absolutely no need for street signs to help someone like me make sense of any of this!!!

Atlanta - Our arrival

2007-03-13T14:47:00.000-07:00

Here we are in beautiful Atlanta. We arrived yesterday to find that during the 3.5 hour drive, Hailey had left us with a gigantic present in her pants. So, the first order of business was an immediate bath and depooping of her outfit. Fun. Then, we carried all of our stuff up 4 flights of stairs. Double fun. Luckily, all of our furniture is still in Nashville, but we did have several large items. We had to tag team the unloading and carrying so that someone was in the apartment with Hailey at all times. See, we're already feeling the effect of having left all of our free family babysitters in Nashville! Our apartment is very small. Well, let's say cozy. However, it is very convenient for both of our jobs and is directly across the street from a huge park with lots of walking trails. So, I think that it will suit us perfectly. More later...

The Prospect of Moving

2007-03-07T06:23:00.000-08:00

Now that we are getting to the point where we actually have to go live in Atlanta, I'm getting a little nervous. I know that it's going to be fine, but it is so unfamiliar. We are leaving all of our furniture and most of our worldly belongings in Nashville to help "stage" our house. Josie, our loving border collie, is going to live with my Mom and Step Dad for a little while, and we've already given away one of our cats. Thank goodness the other cat is coming with us. So much change in such a small period of time. I just can't imagine living in a place with rented furniture. I'm going to miss my bed and Hailey's rocker and my house. Of course, I can't even really express how much we are going to miss all of the people in Nashville. We are so thankful to our friends and family here for being so wonderful and kind, not to mention helpful in this transition. Well, I'm getting a little teary now so it must be time to start thinking again about all of the stuff I need to do before we leave!

6-7 Months - The Best Age

2007-03-01T07:37:00.000-08:00

Some wise Mom once told me that whatever age your child is will seem like the best age. Well, so far that wisdom has held true. Never more so than during this 6-7 month old stage. Hailey is absolutely perfect right now. She's alert and happy most of the time. She can sit up on her own and play with toys, but she can't crawl yet. She babbles incoherently, but doesn't talk back. She snuggles, but doesn't need to be held all the time. It's just great! Here is her 6 month picture. I've also included one from last weekend where you can see her tooth!

We're Moving to Atlanta

2007-02-20T14:50:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm a bit of a slacker because we've known for almost a week now that we would be packing our bags for Atlanta. Luke received a job offer last week and officially accepted it on Friday. It's a very exciting offer with one of the largest, if not the largest, interactive agency in the country. They are providing us with relocation assistance including a temporary apartment until we can sell our house. It's really a wonderful package. So, we're off to Atlanta. He starts his job on March 5th. Yes, in less than 2 weeks!!!! I'll post more details as soon as I have them!

Evaluating the Value of Work

2007-02-09T13:04:00.000-08:00

I don’t write about the work/family topic as much as I should. If I wrote about it in proportion to the amount that I think about it, I would have a blog on the subject every day. These are the questions that I most often grapple with:

Will my children be better or worse off for me having worked during their childhood?
Will I look back at my life and regret spending all my working hours away from them?
Do I even have it in me to stay home with them every day?
Can a teacher at a daycare or preschool teach them more than I can?
Am I going to have discipline problems with them because their parents aren’t around enough to offer that steady hand?
Am I a better mother for trying to do it all even if I’m not always successful?
Will my daughter(s) look up to me and respect me more for working?
Can I even afford to stay home?
Am I being selfish for wanting to work?
Would I become Bree Hodge (formerly Bree Van de Camp) if I stayed home?

I ask myself these questions every single day. Usually multiple times a day. There are times when I think that I’ve absolutely made the right choice, and others when I think that I’m ruining everything, mostly my child. I guess that the most frustrating part is that I’ll never know what the answers are. All I can do is try to achieve the best balance that I can and be flexible in case my family needs me to make a change one way or the other.

I hope that one day Hailey and her yet unborn sibling(s) will read this and understand how difficult the decision is. Well, one day they'll understand because they'll probably go through it themselves. That's a scary thought.

PS: I’m not pregnant again, people. Get with the program. I’m just asking hypothetical questions!

Zzzzz!

2007-02-01T07:01:00.000-08:00

Hailey has finally started "sleeping through the night," which really means that she will sleep for more than 3 consecutive hours. Two nights ago she slept from 7pm-3am and last night she slept from 8pm-2am. I'm not going to get too excited because it seems like it's always one step forward, two steps back, but I think that the baby food is really helping. Last night she ate a whole jar of squash and then a half a jar of carrots. I think that she is starting to understand that the food will fill her up just like milk will. Now, she gets excited to eat when I pull out the jars just like she does when she sees a bottle. It's amazing how fast they can connect the dots.

Anyone want to take bets on whether or not just mentioning this new development has jinxed my chances of her sleeping even longer tonight????

Really Reeling

2007-01-23T12:57:00.000-08:00

Just when you think you have it all together, life throws you a curve ball. Today, my daycare woman told me that she will be closing in two weeks. She recently opened a second center outside of her house, and she needs to attend more closely to that. It was not her intention to close her in-home center. It just worked out that way. I'm not upset with her. I'm just so increadibly disappointed because she has provided Hailey with such excellent care in a mixed age environment. I know that I will not find that anywhere else. I've been calling places all day and just getting more and more discouraged. It's amazing how this little stumbling block makes me rethink everything. All of the decisions that I've made in the past about working and daycare and everything are suddenly back on the table again. And, we all know how I love to make life altering decisions! Well, I need to pull myself together so that I can try to make it through the rest of the day without sobbing.

Are We Teething?

2007-01-15T14:25:00.000-08:00

Are we teething?
Are we teething?
Yes we are.
Yes we are.
I am really cranky.
And I like to chew things
In my mouth.
In my mouth.

Are we teething?
Are we teething?
Yes we are.
Yes we are.
I don't want to sleep now
Because my gums are swollen
In my mouth.
In my mouth.

(Sing to the tune of Where is Thumbkin.)

Car Seat

2007-01-12T17:51:00.000-08:00

I have become one of those mothers that spends $300 on a car seat. I can't believe it myself! Before Hailey was born, I purchased a used Graco SnugRide because it was rated pretty well in Consumer Reports. At the time, it seemed like it would be fine. Well, once you put an actual living creature in one of these things, it doesn't seem very safe. It's just a bunch of plastic with the bare minimum amount of padding on either side. So, I've bought her the Lexus of car seats. It's a monster with side impact safety. It's $300, but she uses it every day while we commute 30 minutes to/from Nashville. Here's a picture of the seat...

First Day of Day Care

2007-01-02T12:30:00.000-08:00

7:45am - Dropped Hailey off. No crying for either of us. She was sleeping soundly, but woke up before I left. Rosie (that's the daycare owner) played with her for a few minutes before I left. It was a little chaotic with all of the kids coming and the parents going, but each kid was greeted with a hug before they start playing. Very warm environment for sure.

10:40am. Just called daycare, and Hailey was screaming. Trying to think positive thoughts as I race over there to feed her. Most positive thought I can think of: She should sleep well tonight!

11:30am - Went to daycare and fed Hailey. She wasn't screaming any more by the time I got there. Actually, Rosie said that she played in the morning with all of the little boys (there are mostly boys at daycare). She loved playing with the boys and with any toy that would light up. So, I fed her and we played for half an hour before I went back to work.

12:45pm - Back at work now. Wolfed down a sandwich on my way back. Hailey was in a good mood when I left daycare. Hopefully, she'll have a good rest of her day.

3:15pm - Daycare called and Hailey is hysterical. Ok, that didn't really happen, but that's my fear every time the phone rings!

4:30pm - Counting the minutes until I can pick her up. Won't be long now!

5:15pm - Hailey just had her first poopie blowout of the day...just one?!?!? I guess she decided to go easy on them.

5:40pm - Back at home again safe and sound. She seems happy, but very very tired. Overall, a positive day of making new friends.

2006-12-22T17:13:00.000-08:00

As a mother, I sometimes come to a point during the day when I feel an overwhelming compulsion to sleep. You know, just take a little nap. Usually, at about the same time, I realize that I am absolutely famished, and dying of thirst. Oh, and I also probably have to pee. Faced with the question of which biological necessity to take care of first, I'm often incredibly frustrated for a few minutes. Then, I realize that I can't take care of any of them because Hailey needs to be fed, burped, held, changed, or cuddled. It's not as difficult as I thought to postpone my own needs to take care of her. It's just those few moments when all of my needs are

Jeans, Jeans, Jeans

2006-12-22T16:13:00.000-08:00

There are certain articles in every woman's wardrobe that are truly sacred - a comfortable bra, a pair of sexy underwear, a beat up college t-shirt, and a spectacularly perfect-fitting pair of jeans. Before I got pregnant, I had two pairs of perfect jeans. Of course, I paid what I would consider an ungodly amount for them. There aren't many articles of clothing that I will splurge on, but I wear jeans day after day for years and years. So, as far as I'm concerned, they're worth a pretty penny and then some.

It wasn't long after I got pregnant that I packed up my perfect jeans along with all of the other clothes that I had been wearing and put them in a box labeled "Alisa's skinny clothes." About a week after I had Hailey, I ventured into the attic to pull out that box. After all, I was skinny again, right? Wrong. It's taken me almost 5 months, but yesterday I finally squeezed myself into one of my perfect pair of jeans (the other pair are a bit smaller!). I wore them to the hockey game last night (where the Sabres clobbered the Predators). I waited all day at work to put those jeans on, and it was great! I'll be wearing them at least for the next three days. Of course, I can't wash them until I lose another pound or so because if they shrink at all, I'll be back to my maternity clothes.

In other news, Hailey made it on the jumbotron at the hockey game last night. She was wearing her Predators outfit with her Buffalo Sabres bib. She has mixed allegiances. What can you do?? She loves to go to the games and stare at the white ice. So, it was a fun time for everyone except the diehard Predator's fans, since the Sabres beat them 7-1. Yikes!

2006-12-18T11:16:00.000-08:00

National Blog Recognition

A few months ago, I purchased a book about work and family called Mommy Wars. It's a great book that I highly recommend to any parent because it clearly shows that there are no easy answers when it comes to work and family. Anyway, the woman who edited the book, Leslie Morgan Steiner, has a blog about the subject on the Washington Post website. On Tuesdays, she has guest bloggers. Anyone can write in. So, tomorrow, I will be the guest blogger. Here's the link to the site so please check it out.

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/onbalance/

2006-12-13T06:18:00.000-08:00

Lessons in Fatherhood - Part 1

ALWAYS WEAR STAIN-DEFENDER PANTS

On Saturday, Hailey had the privilege of attending her first wedding ceremony and reception. She was dressed in her finest attire - a beautiful pink floral dress, white tights, and a coat. Luke's boss had given her the outfit, and this was the perfect event to show it off. She looked adorable (as you might imagine). Unfortunately, we didn't take any pictures to commemorate the event because we were too busy just trying to get ourselves there on time. We figured that we would take the pictures after the wedding...HA!

Just as the bride and groom were beginning their first dance, Hailey had an explosion - a major explosion. Luckily (for Mommy that is), she was sitting on Daddy's lap. His leg was covered in yuck in a matter of seconds. It was a great example of Mommy/Daddy teamwork. Mommy held poopie baby while Daddy wiped poopie off of his pant leg. I have to say, those Dockers pants are amazing. I know I sound like a Dockers commercial, but a few wipes with a napkin and you couldn't tell at all. It was amazing! Of course, Hailey didn't fair so well. Being the ultra-prepared Mommy that I am, I had brought an extra outfit, and we made a quick change in the bathroom. The dress survived the ordeal after a good bit of scrubbing and two types of stain remover. The adventures in poopiedom never cease.

2006-12-08T09:55:00.000-08:00

Lessons in Motherhood - Part 3

It's been a while since Hailey has given me a good lesson in motherhood, but she's clearly been holding out for this whopper...

BEWARE OF POOP IN THE BATH.

Since her birth four months ago, I've given Hailey many baths in her sinktop bath tub, and we never had an incident. Ok, maybe a bit of peepee now and then, but that never hurt anyone. Just this week I started putting her in the big bathtub with me. It gives her more room to kick and splash, and it's easier on my back if I'm in there with her. See where this is going??? Last night, I waited until after she had eaten and pooped to get in the bath with her. It was "perfect timing." Until about 5 minutes into it, I hear a terrible noise. I look down and pray that it was just a bit of gas, but it wasn't. So, now I'm covered in poop, she's covered in poop, and there's poop floating (and sinking) in the water. After some screaming (me, not her), Daddy came to the rescue. The worst part about it was that I used all the hot water filling the tub twice and cleaning it in between. That meant cold shower for Mommy afterward. When did bathing become so complicated???

2006-12-07T09:45:00.000-08:00

Daycare Decision

I visited three more daycares in the Franklin area yesterday, and I realized that all of the daycares are just about the same with only one differentiator - the people! All of the daycares separate the children into like ages, have age appropriate toys, change their diapers every hour or so, and send home daily forms with their activities. It's pretty routinized. So, what made me like one place over another was the quality and quantity of interaction that the children were having with the adults in the room, and I didn't really like what I saw anywhere. Basically, in an infant room, there are up to eight infants and two adults. That means that six of the eight infants are sitting somewhere, usually in a swing, exersaucer, crib, or bumbo by themselves while the other two infants are being fed, changed, etc. There aren't really a lot of group activities - singing, reading stories, and the like.

That's why I've decided to go with the in-home daycare that I visited near my office. It was the only place that felt comfortable and natural. Sure, it doesn't have all of the routinized, sanitized feeling as the other places, but that's why I like it. You see, Hailey is a very social child. She loves interacting with adults and especially with other children. She likes flirting with the little boys when Katie, our current sitter, takes her to her Mom's group. She just enjoys activity, noise, and even a little commotion. It's probably a combination of her age and her personality. Everything is fascinating to her right now. That's why I don't think that she is going to respond well to a typical daycare setting where the only interaction is with two adults and a few other little babies her age. At the in-home daycare, she can watch all of the older kids and participate in story time and the singing and other activities. She's going to love to watch them do things that she's not ready for yet, and she's going to learn. In the end, I'm looking for someplace that can keep her more than just "safe" for 8 hours a day. I'm looking for a place where she can be stimulated and learn. I'm hoping that's what this daycare can do for her. Plus, I'll be able to visit her every day at lunch to give her a little extra Mommy snuggle time.

2006-12-05T10:54:00.000-08:00

Daycare Dilemma

In January, Hailey will have to start going to daycare 5 days a week. Right now, she stays with a friend of ours 3 days a week and gets to play with an 8 month old. Then, two days a week she stays with me while I work from home. It's been absolutely ideal, but she's getting more mobile now, and it's too difficult to juggle her and work. So, let the search for daycare commence.

First, let me just say that I am not a daycare prude. I am 100% open to the idea of putting Hailey into daycare. I think that it's good for her to interact with other children even at a young age. However, I'm not finding any daycares that I like, and what's worse, I'm not even sure I know what I'm looking for.

So far, I've visited three possibilities. All that have openings in January. The first one was a more "institutional" approach with children of like ages separated into rooms with a childcare monitor. I say monitor because I didn't see a whole lot of interaction, particularly with the infants. The second one was a slightly more open layout with kids of like ages separated into sections of one giant room. There was a little more interaction with the caregiver, but it didn't feel very warm, and basically spiraled into contained chaos when the older kids were having free play. The third option is in the lower level of a private home. There are a total of 12 kids, 3-4 infants and a bunch of other kids of various ages. There are only 2 childcare workers (one is the owner), but they are very warm and interactive with the children. The infants were carried and spoken to and played with. It seemed friendlier than either of the other two, but has some obvious drawbacks.

The other issue is do I find a place closer to work, which is much more difficult to find, but would allow me to visit her and even nurse at lunch? Or, do I find a place near home so that Luke can be involved in bringing her to/from the center? I think that I've almost exhausted my options near work, but tomorrow I'm going to visit 2-3 near home. Of the three that I've visited so far, I think that I like the in-home care the best. Any thoughts?

2006-12-01T08:17:00.000-08:00

Thinking of Daddy

My husband, Luke, is a great father. There was never really any doubt that he would be. He's always had a proclivity for interacting with children - a skill that I used to mistake for immaturity but now appreciate as pure genius. He's also a great husband for many reasons, not the least of which is the well-oiled system that we've devised.

The other day, I came home from another exhausting commute back from work. A ride that should be about 20 minutes had taken 50 minutes because of a simple fender bender. I walked into the house frustrated, tired, and cranky to find my husband sitting on the couch reading our four-month-old daughter a story and waiting for a pot of water to boil for dinner. A miracle you say? No, a system.

When I went back to work, we devised a very clear system of responsibilities. My husband works from home, has no commute, and obviously can't breastfeed. So, three days a week he takes care of the baby in the morning, drives her to the sitter, gets her back from the sitter at 5:00 and starts dinner before I get home. Two days a week, I work from home and take over the childcare and dinner on those nights. Weekend dinners are a free for all. It's not always a perfect system. We both have moments of laziness, but the system works for us and leaves little room for resentment or confusion.

Luke is a great father and a great husband. I think that our relationship is stronger both because I work and because we've devised a way to share the responsibilities. We stay more connected to our child, our house, and each other.

2006-11-27T20:15:00.000-08:00

Oops I Dropped It Again

It was so cute and fun when Hailey finally learned how to grab things. Unfortunately, that also meant that she learned to drop things. Drop her plastic keys, drop her rattle, drop her stuffed toy...you get the picture. Luckily, she hasn't realized that if she screams, Mommy will pick it up. I just pick it up out of generosity now. We'll see how long this lasts.

2006-11-14T08:10:00.000-08:00

Family Leave

Some of you may have seen the 20/20 report the other night by Elizabeth Vargas on working motherhood in America. One of the most shocking statistic in the report was that only 4 out of 168 countries do not have a national maternity leave program. Those countries are Papua New Guinea, LeSotho, Swaziland and the United States. Yes, our friends in North Korea and Iran offer more support to working moms than our own country. She also interviewed Senator Christopher Dodd who has been a diehard supporter of maternity leave, but has been consistently thwarted by both Democrats and Republicans.

Since I've joined the millions of other working Moms in America, I'd like to contribute my two cents on the issue of government support for families. First, I think that there will never be any government-backed maternity leave until we reframe the issue as "family leave." We have to stop pitting men against women, those with children against those without, working moms against stay-at-home moms, etc.

Believe it or not, paid family leave is really a family value, not a special privilege given only to women who choose to work and have a family. In fact, family leave is about so much more than just giving working moms a handout. It's about deciding as a society that we are going to value family members caring for each other. That we are going to give sons and daughters the flexibility to take care of ailing parents, foster parents time to adjust to caring for another human being, and fathers a chance to bond with their newborns. It's so vitally important and yet the term "family values" is more often associated with prohibiting gay marriage than with helping millions of American families that struggle to raise kids, take care of ailing parents, maintain work responsibilities, and last (and always least), find time for themselves.

At a minimum, we should have more informed discussions about the issue. We spend so much time arguing about much less important things. Here's something that affects everyone, particularly those of us that have or will have children and/or aging parents. Yet, we rarely hear family leave debated among friends, let alone in the halls of Congress. It's time to demand respect for the important role that families play in our society.

2006-10-16T08:09:00.000-07:00

Baby Snot

Hailey has her first cold ever. It's not too bad so far, just a lot of snot and congestion. She doesn't seem to bothered by the whole thing, and she doesn't have a fever so I'm really not overly concerned at the moment. The worst part about it is the bulb suction device (otherwise known as the snot sucker). I try to use it as much as possible just so that she can breathe a little easier. Luke used it last night and then started shouting, "Look at this big booger I just pulled out of her nose." In his defense, it is quite amazing when you pull something giant out of there, but I really don't need to see every gross, disgusting mess she makes!

2006-09-20T08:06:00.000-07:00

A Mother's Love

When I was an evil teenager, I used to "hate" my mother. Not really hate her because you always love your mother, but in the teen angst years it's sometimes hard to remember that. So, let's just say that she was not among my favorite people in the world. It wasn't anything she did or said. It was more like everything she did and said. It just was the way it was. Probably lots of people can relate to that angry, depressed, angst-ridden type of disgust. I certainly know quite a few people that went through that in their teenage years and some who are going through it right now (but I won't name any names).

Well, I'm here to finally say to my Mom, "I get it." I understand. I appreciate you in a way that I never have before. In a way that I never could before I had my own. It is totally true - there is no love like a mother's love. There's no one that will feel your pain like a mother will, no one that will share your joy the same way, no one that will give up more for you, and subsequently, no one that you can hurt more.

So, if it's any consolation to mothers of all the attitudinally challenged teenagers out there, I'm here to tell you that there is hope. Because one day they'll understand too (if you're lucky and if not, well there's nothing you can do since these feelings don't come with an off switch).

By the way, as I write this heartfelt thought, Hailey is sitting on my lap making really loud poops and spitting up all over herself...now how can that be so adorable!

2006-09-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

Back at Work

This is my first full week back at work. It was less heart wrenching than I thought it would be to leave Hailey for a whole day. I think that it's been easier for me because I don't have to worry about the quality of care that she's getting, and I know that I will be home with her on Wednesdays and Fridays. Those two factors have really made all the difference in the world.

I've gotten only positive reports about her behavior at Aunt Katie's house. She takes three bottles and then I nurse her immediately when I get home. Luke's been incredibly supportive and helpful with this arrangement, which is also a weight off my shoulders. All in all, I'd say that the transition has been pretty smooth so far. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything continues to work out.

2006-08-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

Lessons in Motherhood - Part 2

NEVER CHANGE BABY BEFORE FEEDING BABY...Hailey is a big spitter upper. We have the subtle little spit ups that slowly drool out the sides of her mouth to the projectile spit up and everything in between. Plus, as an extra bonus, she not only spits up when she's finished eating, but for hours after eating. I don't think that I own any bedding that hasn't gotten spit up on it. It's a lot of fun.

To add some other excitement to the pot, Hailey has "thrush," which for those of you that don't know, is a yeast infection in her mouth. It turned her tongue completely white (which was really nasty). It also made nursing really painful again. The medicine that we have to give her is in liquid form, and we have to dropper .5 ml into each cheek and rub it around in her cheek. The medicine is this sweet smelling sticky crap that is really unpleasant, but it seems to be doing the job.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'll try to get Luke to put some pictures up this weekend.

2006-08-09T11:04:00.000-07:00

Lessons in Motherhood - Part 1

ALWAYS DOUBLE CHECK THE DIAPER WHEN CHANGING BABY IN THE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING...

Last night Hailey slept for 5 hours from 9pm to 2am...what a gift! Then, she woke up again at 4:45am to eat, but she was a little wet in the behind so I decided to change her. Remember, it was 4:45am so I wasn't fully awake (I can nurse lying down now so I don't have to fully wake up). So, I changed her diaper in bed as I was half asleep. At about 7:45 this morning, she started fussing again and I hear this explosive wet poopy noise. Then, I roll her over and realize that I didn't put the diaper on all the way when I changed her at 4:00am so there is wet, yellow poopy all over her nightgown, blanket, my bed sheets, etc. It was a bad scene. Thank goodness it was 7:45 and not 2:00am or something. She got a much needed bath this morning and is now sleeping soundly!

2006-07-31T07:59:00.000-07:00

HAILEY IS HERE

Hailey Marie Hamilton arrived at 7:44am on Sunday, July 30, 2006. She weighed 7lbs 6oz and was 20.5 inches long. She scored almost perfectly on her APGAR test, and was delivered without the use of any pain medication whatsoever. She has a full head of brown hair with blond undertones.

Now that we have the basics out of the way, I'll tell you some of the gorey details. On Saturday night, I started having contractions around 10:00pm. I had a feeling that I would go into labor on Saturday because it was the one day in the last month that my doula was out of town. Neither of us thought that I would be 8 days late so it didn't seem like the trip would be a big deal. Surprise, surprise...it's the day Miss Hailey finally decides to come.

So, I didn't recognize the contractions at first because it felt like back pains, and there was no pain at all in the front. I started timing the pain around 11pm, and they were about 8 minutes apart. It didn't take long to go from 8 minutes apart down to 5 minutes apart, and we were packed and in the car by 12:45am. We arrived at the hospital around 1:15am, and I measured only 4 cm. I was so pissed when I first got there because I had hoped to labor at home until I was at least 6 cm. Luckily, it only took about an hour to get from 4 cm to 6 cm.

Within another 2 hours, I was 8 cm. Since Amy, the doula, was not around, my Mom served as my doula and Luke was the coach. It was great! They were absolutely perfect and kept me completely calm and relaxed through each contraction. Since I had so much back labor, my Mom stood in front of me so that I could hold on to her while Luke sat behind me and rolled ice or massaged my back. It worked out very well (that's not to say that it wasn't ridiculously painful).
The midwives and nurses basically stayed out of our way since we were doing so well on our own.

At about 6:30am, I was 9.5 cm and ready to begin pushing. Pushing was by far the most invigorating, amazing, and painful experience of my life. Still, I knew I was at the end so it didn't take that much motivation for me to really give it my all. I pushed for about an hour and fifteen minutes, and I was able to reach down and feel her head when it crowned. Then, before I knew it there was a screaming, slimey baby on my belly. I kept her on my belly for a long time before they finally took her to clean her up. It was amazing!!!!

Here's the picture from just after she was born. Since we are still at the hospital, we haven't been able to get the pictures off of the camera, but we'll put them up asap.

2006-07-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

Christmas with No Santa

It's 6:00am on Thursday, and I'm now officially 5 days overdue. I'm getting a little bitter about it at this point, which I know is a terrible thing. It's just that every night I go to bed feeling like I'm a little kid on Christmas Eve and wondering if Santa will come. Then, every morning I wake up to find that he hasn't. Now, imagine having that feeling of disappointment every day for two weeks. I know that she'll come when she's ready, and there's really not much I can do (that I haven't already tried). I'm not quite to the point of consuming caster oil (which my neighbor says works), but that point is getting closer every day. I think that everyone in this household is hoping that this ends soon, particularly as my crankiness quotient increases exponentially each day. At least we've learned one important lesson about Miss Hailey - she has her Dad's sense of timing :)

2006-07-05T10:03:00.000-07:00

Map of the Belly

If you can't read the text next to the map, you might need to click on the picture above and zoom in a little. Enjoy!

2006-06-21T07:57:00.000-07:00

Midwife Update and Cord Blood Donation Rant

We had our appointment with Shelly, our midwife, this morning. I'm still measuring a little small so we have to do another ultrasound next week. She said that she wants to keep an eye on Hailey's development, but that she's probably just going to be a small baby. I'm not going to worry about it at this point because 1) there's nothing that I can do about it except to eat healthy and take care of myself (which I'm already doing); 2) I was a smaller sized baby; and 3) we're going to love her no matter what size or shape she is.

Also, Luke and I were both able to feel her little head through my belly. That was pretty cool. She's head down so no breech babies here. Good little girl...way to save Mommy from a yucky c-section.

Now, let me bitch for a minute about this whole cord blood situation. Luke and I have always wanted to donate the cord blood from any children that we might be fortunate enough to have. Our opinion is that if our biomedical waste can somehow save someone else's child, then that's pretty much a no brainer for us. Unfortunately, I've waited too long to sign up so now we can't do it. I realize that this is completely my fault for procrastinating, but I honestly did not know that there would be no local programs and that it would be so confusing. Apparently, our government, in it's infinite wisdom, passed a law mandating that all pregnant women be given information about the program, but then they didn't fund any additional donation sites. So, it's basically worthless. Sounds pretty familiar!

2006-06-08T07:58:00.000-07:00

Babies Are Such a Good Deal

Little Baby Hailey is not even born yet and she’s already costing Mommy and Daddy a fortune. Call it the nesting instinct or just pure insanity, but over the weekend I decided that we absolutely had to redo Hailey’s closet immediately. She has a lovely walk-in closet with a window in it, but it
only had one shelf and bar that went all the way around the top. It was just the wire shelving crap that the contractor installed, and it would never do for our precious little one. So, off we go to Target, Home Depot, and finally, Lowes. Several hundred dollars later and poor Luke is forced
to put together multiple shelving units, which I insisted upon. Unfortunately (or fortunately for Luke I suppose), we couldn’t fit all of the shelving units that I wanted so she only has a corner piece and one 30” piece. Plus, she has tons and tons of bars for hanging clothes. Needless to say, this little project didn’t exactly get finished over the weekend. Thank goodness that my Mom arrived today to help put things in order. Maybe I’ll try to take a picture when we’re finished so that you can see the finished work in all of its glory.

On another note, I’m pretty sure that my belly has grown quite a bit since my last trip to the doctor. The only way I can really gauge the growth is by how stretched out my belly button is getting. Let’s just say that it’s gone from being an innie to an outie to a flattie. Yikes.

2006-05-10T07:55:00.000-07:00

Whack-a-mole

We have a new game at our house. Luke and I play it right before we go to bed. Usually when I lay down, Hailey starts kicking over on my right side. The other night we realized that we can actually feel her little feet (or what I think are feet) when they stick out. I'm pretty sure that she was thinking it was a fun game to kick and feel Luke's hand sort of nudge her foot. It seemed like she was playing with us because she kept doing it over and over again for what seemed like forever (from the standpoint of the kickee, that is). She was probably just trying to get comfortable somehow, but it's really fun to think that we are sort of "interacting" with her while she's inside my belly.

Today is the beginning of week 30! Only 12 more days until our next ultrasound!!!

2006-05-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

New Belly Shots

Take a look at that outy belly button! Yikes! Next week we'll hit the 30 week mark. I can't believe that there will only be 10 weeks left.

Hailey has been very active lately. She's starting to get a schedule going so I know when to anticipate the heaviest kicking. Plus, when she kicks I can feel her little body parts in there if I just press down a little bit. It's really weird. I wish that I knew what I was feeling. I'll probably figure it out as she gets bigger.

In other exciting news, random strangers are now commenting on my pregnancy. So, I guess that I'm finally beyond the point where people are too scared to ask. Making it to almost 30 weeks without openly "showing" is quite an accomplishment I would say, but now it's getting hotter out and I should be garnering a little more sympathy. I can hear it now, "You poor thing. You must be so hot and uncomfortable. Here let me carry those groceries for you." Excellent!

2006-04-12T07:53:00.000-07:00

Childbirth Class: Episode 1

Last night was the first meeting of our childbirth education class, but don't worry there weren't any birth videos yet. I guess that we start watching the videos next week and every week after that until we are completely desensitized to the whole thing. Sounds like lots of fun.

Anyway, there are about 5-6 couples in the class. We began by going around the room and talking about our ideal births and our fears. The first few people talked about being afraid of the pain and worrying that their baby would be healthy. I have all of those fears too, but I didn't want to just repeat what everyone else was saying so I said that I was afraid that I was going to get hungry during labor and the nurses wouldn't let me eat. Everyone thought that was soooo funny, but I wasn't trying to be funny. This is a real concern!!!! If I'm in labor for 18 hours, I'm going to want a granola bar or something!!!! At least several of the other women in the class said that they completely agreed, after they stopped laughing.

After introductions, we learned about the history of giving birth in an upright posture versus the medical model of lying down. I'm no doctor, but I don't think that it takes an advanced degree to realize that you might as well use gravity to your advantage on this one. I'm sure that we'll be learning all of the fun ways to give birth upright in future classes. We spent the rest of the time this week just learning a breathing technique to help with relaxation during contractions. I'm really interested to see how well I can relax during a contraction. Seems like that will be really really difficult. Oh, well. I just keep telling myself that women have been doing this with midwives and no drugs for thousands and thousands of years. It's the one reassuring thought that I have!

2006-03-31T12:08:00.000-08:00

Princess and the Pea

Let me start out by saying that I have always been one of the incredibly fortunate few who has never had back problems. Shoulder problem, of course, but that doesn't count. A few months ago I noticed that my back would get really sore from time to time; conveniently enough, this usually occurred after I did any amount of housework. Then, I noticed that it was also sore when I woke up in the morning. It was then that we realized that we were sleeping on a 10 year old mattress (on the floor because we don't have a bed frame). So, my mission this week has been to find a bed frame and mattress. We found a bed frame at Thomasville so that is purchased and on its way (I'll post pictures when it arrives). The mattress is a bit of a more complicated issue. It's so difficult to find one, and it's something that I hate to pay a lot of money for (even though everyone has advised us not to skimp). Why are they so expensive????? I'm determined to find one this weekend so keep your fingers crossed.

In terms of Miss Hailey, she is doing fine. She's decided that it's a fun game to kick my organs now instead of out into my belly where it's kind of cute. So, every once in a while I'll be sitting around and I'll feel a foot or arm or something hit some vital organ. I'm thinking that it's most often my bowel or intestines maybe. Whatever it is, it's something that I don't feel on a regular basis!

2006-03-27T20:09:00.000-08:00

The Selfishness before Selflessness

I’m learning an interesting (although dangerous) lesson. Pregnant women are allowed to be a bit selfish about everything from food portions to weekend plans. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I’m unfairly using my “condition” to my advantage. How can I explain this without making it sound like Luke deserves a medal for bravery (although he probably does)? I just find myself taking a little more time (ok…and food) for myself and feeling a little less bad about it. Let me give some examples. I’ve begun going to the chiropractor, and I’m seriously considering monthly or biweekly massages. I’m also suddenly 100% behind the idea of getting a cleaning lady, and I don’t mind napping at 3:00pm on a Sunday. These are all things that I probably would have never considered before because they were always too expensive, too indulgent or just a waste of time. Now that I’m pregnant, my new motto is: I’ll gladly take that 90-minute massage and that bigger bowl of ice cream too.

Maybe it’s not even a matter of selfishness. It’s more an issue of having more needs than ever before and learning not to feel bad about that. I’m just not used to falling asleep on the couch or “needing to sit down.” Sometimes I feel useless or lazy. Look at the pregnant women chasing around 3 kids all day. I know that once Hailey comes along all of my effort and attention will be on her comfort, happiness, and safety. So, I guess that I should just enjoy these last few months of selfishness (or whatever you want to call it) before I give myself over to her every want and need.

2006-03-20T06:09:00.000-08:00

Explaining the Pregnant Waddle

If you're like me (and hopefully you're not), you've often found yourself watching pregnant women waddling around the grocery store or the mall or wherever and found yourself wondering, "what is it about a big belly that makes people waddle." You may have also noticed that big, fat men with bellies larger than some pregnant women do not tend to waddle. So, what gives?

Well, now that I've experienced this phenomenon myself, I've decided to shed a little light on the subject. I have discovered that there are at least three reasons for the pregnant waddle. I say "at least" because I'm sure that there are more that I have not experienced because I'm not quite big enough yet. So, here are the ones that I've experienced so far:

1) "I have to pee waddle" - It's no surprise that pregnant women have to pee every five seconds, what with a little person exerting constant pressure on our bladder. Sometimes that feeling becomes so uncomfortable that we try to move our midsection as little as possible. Thus, the "I have to pee waddle."

2) "My stomach muscles are shredded waddle" - As our stomachs expand, there are abdominal muscles in there that are paying a terrible price. I find that those muscles tend to hurt from time to time as Hailey has her little growth spurts. This makes it very uncomfortable for me to use them for anything (including walking).

3) "Back pain waddle" - This waddle has an entirely different cause, but the same overall effect. If you've ever been pregnant and experienced a painful or stiff back, you know exactly what this one is about!

If you have any others, feel free to post them in a comment and I'll add them to my second installment.

2006-03-09T12:10:00.000-08:00

KFC and Other Musings

First of all, it's official...I can no longer fit in any of my pre-maternity pants. Up until today, I was able to squeeze myself into one last pair of grey work pants that I owned (don't ask me why I owned them because they were 2 sizes to big on me before I got pregnant), but those days are over. I tried them on this morning, and all of a sudden I couldn't even button them. I just wore them last week!!!! This only confirms what I've been saying for the past few days...Hailey is having a growth spurt. She must be growing because I'm getting all kinds of weird pains coming from her region. I'm not sure if I'm feeling her moving around or simply the wripping of all of my abdominal muscles to shreds. Either way, something's happening.

On a subject that is completely unrelated to the fact that I can no longer fit into my pants, I've been having some serious cravings for Kentucky Fried Chicken over the past few days. I haven't caved in yet because the disgust factor has been more than I can overcome, but it's just a matter of time. They say that you crave what the baby needs nutritionally, so does that mean that Hailey really needs some greasy fried chicken skins?

2006-03-07T12:13:00.000-08:00

Official Name Spelling: Hailey Marie Hamilton

After much review and debate, we've decided on Hailey Marie Hamilton.

Hailey's grandmother, step-grandpa, and grandpa are all coming in and out of town over the next 5 days so I apologize if the blog frequency suffers. I'll try to get another belly shot up as soon as it seems worthwhile. The belly is still a little incognito. Now I just look chubby. Oh well, I'll take chubby over uncomfortable any day. By the way, tomorrow will be the first day of my 21st week.